


All That I Can Say

by jt4702



Series: Insanity Universe [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-02
Updated: 2012-09-03
Packaged: 2017-11-13 09:47:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 40,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/502151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jt4702/pseuds/jt4702
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rachel's and Santana's budding relationship is hampered by Santana's behaviour. Definitely AU. Spoilers for all seasons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine, never were, and never will be... If they were mine, a lot of things would be different with Glee's story lines.
> 
> Part of what I've been calling my 'Insanity' series/verse. It was originally posted as a prequel to a series of one-shots I originally posted in other sites. I'll be posting these stories by chronological order here.
> 
> Keep in mind that this story is very heavy on Faberry friendship.
> 
> The story is self-edited, so all mistakes are mine and mine alone.

All That I Can Say

 

 

Chapter 1

 

Santana can’t help but stare at Rachel on the bus ride back from Sectionals. She still cannot believe the diva would just believe her, while everyone else was so intent on crucifying Brittany and her for their perceived betrayal of Glee. It has been roughly three hours since she heard them, yet those words are still resonating in her hears. “I believe you.” Rachel’s look of absolute certainty and the conviction in her voice as she uttered those words forever burned in her mind as well.

 

Rachel is quietly talking with Quinn. Ever since the paternity of Quinn’s baby was revealed, the diva has been doing her best to make amends for her mistake. It’s still odd seeing them being civil to each other. Santana can’t hear what they are saying to each other, but whatever it is, she can see her former best friend relax a bit. She can see Rachel smile softly, in a way that makes her look like an angel (Wait a minute!! Did she just think Rachel Berry looks like an angel? She chalks it up to lack of sleep). She can see relief flood Quinn’s face and then Santana wonders if hell has frozen over, because Rachel and Quinn are now hugging, both crying openly and smiling softly at each other through their tears.

 

It seems that she isn’t the only one to notice, because everyone else on the bus is staring at them as if they have grown a few extra heads and limbs. She can see Kurt and Mercedes pinching themselves. Mike and Matt keep rubbing their eyes and slapping themselves and then each other. Artie and Tina stare with their mouths wide open. Puck stares at the two girls, looking devastated. Miss Pillsbury’s eyes open impossibly wider, to the point that Santana is afraid they might just roll out of their sockets. JewFro alternates between lovesick, mooning glances aimed at Rachel, and hate-filled glares aimed at Quinn. Brittany looks at them happily before she shifts and lays her head on Santana’s shoulders mumbling something about taking a nap. Santana wonders what Finn’s reaction would be, if he were here with them, but since he drove to the venue in Mr. Schuester’s car, he has to drive back. She remembers he left angry and hurt because Rachel had refused to ride back with him. That in itself has Santana scratching her head in confusion. She was sure Rachel would take any all opportunities to be alone with overgrown toddler.

 

Santana keeps stealing glances to the row of seats where Rachel and Quinn are still talking quietly. She can see Rachel pull out her phone and talk to someone, while Quinn looks out the window, hands grasping the one Rachel isn’t using to hold her phone. Curiosity is killing her, because it is a well known fact that Quinn absolutely loathes Rachel. The rest of the kids stop staring and finally go back to their own conversations, but Santana catches them throw the two girls curious glances every once in a while. Eventually, she hears Rachel singing so softly she can barely pick out the tune and words to ‘over the rainbow’, and Quinn closing her eyes to finally drift off. Santana feels something she can’t quite define. She wonders wistfully if someone will ever serenade her like that. She shakes her head and forces herself to look away. She goes as far as to pull out her iPod to drown out the soft voice of Rachel’s singing, telling herself she is tired of hearing the diva’s voice. Like the others, she finds she cannot help but throw the two girls surreptitious glances every once in a while, until eventually, she dozes off as well.

 

Santana is jolted back to the land of the conscious when the bus comes to a stop in McKinley’s student parking lot. The first thing she notices, is how Rachel grabs Quinn’s hand and helps her to a standing position, before gently guiding her off of the bus. She experiences the same unsettling feeling from earlier, when she heard Rachel singing softly to Quinn. She quickly gets off the bus, with Brittany in tow, just in time to see Rachel put their garment bags in the trunk of a SUV before giving two men big hugs. She overhears Rachel introducing them as her dads to Quinn, and then both girls get in the backseat while the men take the front, and drive away.

 

“What the hell was that?” Santana asks Puck, since he has been watching them and moping the whole time.

 

“Finn kicked Quinn out the moment he found out the truth. She moved in at my place, but my mom has been an outright bitch to her, accusing her of ruining not just her own life, but mine as well. Rachel offered her home and Quinn accepted. They’re on their way to my place to pick up her things as we speak.” Puck said in a sulky tone.

 

“So when they were hugging in the bus ride back?” Santana started asking, before Puck took over to clarify.

 

“…was Rachel and Quinn apologising to each other and Rachel asking Quinn to move in with her.” Puck confirmed.

 

“Wow.” Santana manages to get out. That strange feeling is back with a vengeance.

 

“Tell me about it. Who would have ever thought that Quinn Fabray, former Head Cheerio would actually end up living with Rachel Barbara Berry, self proclaimed star and diva of our school.” Puck says in disbelief.

 

“Strangers things have happened.” Santana mumbles as she grabs her garment bag and heads to her car, not giving Puck a chance to ask what she meant by that comment.

 

Santana drives Brittany home and then as she makes her way back to her own home, she can’t help but think of Rachel and her softly spoken words to Quinn. She can see and hear Rachel softly singing and once again, wonders if that would ever happen to her in her lifetime. She spends the remainder of the weekend wondering how things are going between Rachel and Quinn. She knows next to nothing about the diva, but she knows just how maintenance Quinn Fabray is, and it surprises Santana how she actually wishes things work out between them. She can’t explain this newfound obsession with Rachel.

 

*** * ***

The next few days rush by in a blur as Quinn settles in the Berry household. The first weekend passes without any major incidents. It feels odd living in the house of the girl she has tormented since middle school. Most of Sunday is spent talking and clearing the air. Quinn is surprised at how laid back Rachel is at home when compared to the girl she sees and interacts with in school. Sure, at home Rachel is still fairly high strung by most people’s standards, but compared the hummingbird on speed version she normally sees, this girl seems quite sedate by comparison.

 

When Monday rolls around, there is a collective jaw dropping when the rest of the students see Quinn step out of a SUV with Rachel’s assistance. By the time homeroom is over, the entire school knows Quinn has moved in with Rachel. Santana watches the two girls out of the corner of her eyes. Not for the first time since finding out from Puck about Quinn’s new living arrangements that Santana wishes to be a fly in the wall in the Berry household. She actually admits that she is shocked beyond belief that they haven’t killed each other yet.

 

Sadly, even with their first win, things haven’t improved at all for most members of New Directions. The first thing that happens is a simultaneous slushying of Rachel, Kurt and Mercedes as the latter try to corner the diva on her way out of homeroom in order to get the scoop on the latest round of gossip. When Rachel makes her way to her locker to pick up her change of clothes, Quinn is following the diva with a frown etched on her face. They silently make their way to the closest washroom.

 

Santana is about to exit one of the stalls when she hears the door open to reveal a slushie covered Rachel. For whatever reasons she can’t explain, she slips back into the stall and remains as still and quiet as possible. She has to clamp down on this urge to find the one responsible (probably Karofsky) for this and hang him by his balls from the flagpole. Next thing she knows, Quinn follows in and starts to gently help Rachel wipe off as much excess slushie as possible. She absentmindedly notices that Karofsky used Blue Raspberry today before that strange feeling settles in the pit of her stomach again.

 

“I’m sorry I don’t have the power to stop this from happening now.” Quinn says looking ashamed.

 

“Don’t be. I really appreciate your assistance, but you really shouldn’t be here Quinn. You’ll be late for class. Besides, it’s not like I’m not used to cleaning up on my own.” Rachel says with a sad smile.

 

“I can always claim I had another bout of morning sickness. You’ll be done faster with some help. Now sit down and let me rinse this crap out of your hair.” Quinn says as she guides Rachel to a chair propped by one of the sinks.

 

Santana is amazed at the gentleness of Quinn’s touch as she washes the coloured corn syrup out of Rachel’s hair. When that’s done, she wraps a towel in Rachel’s hair and starts to squeeze the excess water out of the diva’s hair.

 

“I’m sorry I was ever part of that. I didn’t realise how unpleasant that is until it actually happened to me.” Quinn says so softly that Santana thinks she imagined the whole thing.

 

“I’ve already forgiven you, so there’s no need to bring that up again. I meant it when I said I’m more than willing to move on and start over.” Rachel says with a gentle and warm smile as she takes off her sweater and then she begins to slowly unbutton the now blue-speckled white shirt she’s wearing.

 

Santana literally clamps her hand over her mouth to stop a gasp from nearly escaping at the sight before her. She had no idea that those animal sweaters and all that argyle hid such a perfect body. There certainly is no treasure trail. If anything, the girl is femininity personified. There is no trace of extra fat in that body. Then again, with Rachel’s self-professed exercise and dance routine, seeing those defined abs, slim waist, and perky and perfectly proportioned lace-bra encased breasts should come as no surprise to anyone really.

 

“I still don’t understand how you can be so forgiving.” Quinn says in the same near whisper.

 

“Because we all deserve a chance to make amends. You’ve given me that chance by accepting my apology and my offer to help.” Rachel starts to say, only to bring up her hand to silence Quinn when she notices the blonde is about to say something. “No matter what our past history has been like, I didn’t have the right to interfere with your relationship with Finn and I certainly didn’t have the right to tell him about the paternity of your baby.” Rachel says looking thoroughly ashamed.

 

“It’s not the same. I’ve been cruel to you for years. I deserved it. Besides, your way of making amends benefits me directly.” Quinn counters.

 

“No matter what you think, you never deserved for Finn to treat you the way he did.” Rachel says soothingly, completely ignoring Quinn’s last statement.

 

“The sad thing is that if the situation was reversed, I wouldn’t have hesitated in exploiting it to my full advantage. God knows I’ve tortured you enough.” Quinn says as she folds the soiled sweater and shirt. Santana can’t help but agree with that statement. Neither one of them would hesitate in going in for the kill if it meant getting what they wanted.

 

“Maybe before you joined Glee, when you didn’t know me at all. I’ve seen glimpses of the girl you hide under your façade. The situations are completely different. What you did before, other than make me feel bad, had no real life altering consequences. What I did? It left you homeless, so I’m really grateful you’re giving me a chance to make amends. Now, let’s move past this. Clean slate and all that, remember?” Rachel says once she’s done wiping the sticky residue off of her chest. She quickly goes through her bag and is dressed in next to no time.

 

Santana lets out a long exhale once the other two occupants leave the washroom, completely unaware that there was someone else bearing witness to their budding friendship. Santana shakes her head as she replays the words between Quinn and Rachel. Leave it to the diva to completely overlook all the shitty things Quinn has done to humiliate her over the years while she herself seeks absolution for doing something that Quinn would have had no problem doing. Rachel’s willingness to believe her seems a little less puzzling now. It appears the tiny diva will always see the best in others. She makes a decision to start making amends as well. Who knows, maybe she can make a new friend and regain her old one in the process. If anything, she’ll make Brittany happy with that decision. She walks out of the washroom feeling lighter.

 

It starts with a nod. Rachel does a double take at that. Surely, she must have imagined the entire thing. When Rachel rushes from second to her locker, she accidentally and quite literally runs into Santana.

 

“I’m sorry Santana. It really wasn’t my intention to run into you in such a careless manner. I hope I didn’t cause you any undue physical distress.” Rachel says, hoping the fiery Cheerio won’t rip her head off for an unfortunate accident.

 

“No, it’s okay Rachel. No harm done. I wasn’t watching where I was going either.” Santana says in what she hopes is an indifferent tone of voice. In reality, she feels as if her heart is about to beat out of her chest. She has to suppress a smirk when she sees the thoroughly confused look Rachel is now sporting.

 

“Uh, right. I uh probably should go to class. Have a pleasant day Santana.” Rachel finally manages to say once she recovers the ability to string together a sentence. She actually pinches her forearm as she walks hesitantly away to her locker to grab her books. It’s not until the warning bell rings that she realises she has been in moving around in a silent stupor.

 

Santana chuckles once she sees Rachel’s reactions to her kind words. Part of her is amused, but another part of her is actually bummed out at the reaction all together. Normally she thoroughly enjoys messing with people’s minds and seeing the fear dance in their eyes. Today, when she witnesses it in Rachel, she feels nothing but shame. Maybe it’s a good thing she has decided to make things better.

 

By the end of the day, everyone is positive there is a huge meteor on a collision course with Earth. Why else would Santana López and Quinn Fabray making an effort to be nice to the diva? The end of the world must be near. By the end of two weeks, it becomes somewhat normal seeing Rachel, Quinn, Santana, and Brittany hanging out together. The slushies against Rachel have stopped completely. Finn is positive the others are setting the diva up for something and he does his best to warn her, but things between Rachel and Finn are tense. He still feels betrayed that Rachel of all people had chosen to help Quinn, thus, in his mind, Rachel had taken Quinn’s side over his. It makes absolutely no sense to him, since it was Rachel who told him the truth in the first place.

 

“Come on Rach. Will you just listen to me?” Finn says once he finally manages to get Rachel sort of alone in the library during a free period she doesn’t share with the Cheerios.

 

“What do you want Finn? Can’t you see I’m in the middle of completing my homework here?” Rachel asks with a frustrated sigh.

 

“Whatever they’re promising you, it’s not true. Santana and Quinn are just following Coach Sylvester’s orders to ruin Glee.” Finn says for the umpteenth time.

 

“Give it a rest Finn. They’re my friends and I trust them. I know your ego is hurt, but they’ve been nothing but fantastic to me since our return from Sectionals. If you have nothing productive to say, then kindly leave me alone before Ms. Adamson comes over and tells us to be quiet. Grow up Finn.” Rachel says as she puts her earbuds back on and resumes studying.

 

Finn stares at her shocked and angry, ready to demand her attention when he catches sight of the librarian and leaves feeling even more betrayed.

 

*** * ***

Things don’t stay in that state of semi-bliss for long. Sue dangling the position of Head Cheerio in Santana’s face is like dangling a tray full of tater tots fresh out of the deep fryer in front of Mercedes. She agrees to seduce Finn in order to ‘break apart’ Glee Club. She doesn’t think much of it because Rachel really isn’t all that interested in the overgrown toddler since her tentative friendship with Quinn. If anything, she notices how strained things are between the two main leads. She figures ‘seducing’ Finn would result in a happy coach and a few free meals at Breadstix for Brittany and herself, so she goes on as planned. Of course she doesn’t take into account that just because things are strained between them, it doesn’t mean that Rachel all of a sudden has no feelings towards Finn. So really, it shouldn’t have come as such as big surprise that Rachel is hurt when word spreads around that Finn has started ‘dating’ Santana. Finn’s words feel like a slap to the face after they sleep together. They make her feel cheap and used.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were still interested in him?” Santana asks dumbly.

 

“I’m not.” Rachel replies.

 

“Then, why are you upset? I’m only ‘dating’ him to keep coach off my back.” Santana replies.

 

“It’s not that. I thought we were friends.” Rachel says softly.

 

“We are.” Santana automatically replies, slightly hurt that Rachel would question it.

 

“I’m upset because I had to hear about you, Brittany and Finn from the rumour mill instead of from my friend.” Rachel says sadly.

 

That’s when it hits Santana. Sometimes she wonders if being a cheerleader is rotting away her brain. She feels horrible because she knows that if the situation were reversed, she’d be equally hurt. She makes a point to make things better.

 

*** * ***

When Santana first propositions him, Finn thinks it is the best opportunity to make Rachel jealous so he accepts on the spot. If anything, being seen with Santana López is sure to bring his reputation up a few rungs in the hierarchy. Rachel is hurt, but she never does a thing about it, other than sing ‘gives you hell’ during their ‘hello’ song assignment. The situation thoroughly backfires on him because all he has gotten out of it is an empty wallet and two girls who paid more attention to each other than to him. At least he lost his virginity in the process.

 

Surprisingly enough, the entire Glee club minus Finn and Schuester enjoy that little performance. Within the first verse, the rest of them join Rachel by providing background vocals. After the song, and a bit of grovelling on Santana’s part, things start to improve with Rachel again. Santana is surprised by the relief she feels now that they’re on speaking terms again. So, when Rachel comes to school a few days later all excited with a scowling Quinn in tow, Santana knows things are about to get dicey again. It turns out that after Schuester’s lecture on not taking the assignment seriously, Rachel had gone to the local music store for inspiration and had met Jesse St. James. The diva is now completely infatuated with the boy. Conveniently enough, the boy seems just as infatuated with Rachel. It’s like a match made in musical heaven.

 

When Santana finds out, that odd feeling resurfaces with a vengeance. She chalks it up as a feeling of protectiveness over the diva because she has to agree with the rest. It’s too much of a coincidence that the lead of one of their biggest rivals would just fall for their lead. Unlike Quinn and Brittany, she does nothing when the original Gleeks give Rachel an ultimatum. The two blondes flank Rachel protectively and threaten to quit if they don’t stop harassing Rachel, Santana sits there, looking at the floor. She feels like a heel at the flash of pain she sees on the diva’s face. Once again, she resolves to put her pride aside, and tries to fix things with Rachel. It takes a bit more grovelling, but things are all right again. One of the unexpected bonuses of this unlikely friendship with Rachel is of course her own repaired one with Quinn. Santana is of course, pleasantly surprised at just how wonderful the diva is. Brittany is ecstatic that they’re now all hanging out together and getting along as if they’ve been doing so for ages. The only downside in Santana’s mind is the time Rachel spends with Jesse because it means less spent with her (them, she means). Quinn and Brittany notice that Santana seems to be surlier than usual.

 

Over the next two weeks, right before Thanksgiving, Jesse surprises everyone by transferring to McKinley.

 

“Why are you letting him in? He’s just a spy for Vocal Adrenaline.” Finn spits out, voicing what all of them, minus Rachel is thinking.

 

“Not that I need to explain my actions to you, but I’m getting quite fed up with the ‘Tony and María’ feel my relationship with Rachel has.” Jesse says as he throws a winning smile Rachel’s way. Rachel smiles dreamily at the reference. Santana scowls at that reaction.

 

“Huh? What?” Finn manages to reply.

 

“Tony and María are the main characters from West Side Story. Our relationship mirrors theirs quite closely.” Rachel says with a sigh. Is it really too much to ask for the rest to be better versed when it comes to classic musicals?

 

“I can’t believe I’m actually agreeing with Finn here. Mr. Schue, but he’s right. It’s bad enough they’re dating, but with him here we might as well just give Vocal Adrenaline our set list and a video of everyone of our performances.” Mercedes says in a huff.

 

The rest minus Quinn, Brittany and Santana agree readily. The girls might be suspicious, but their friendship with Rachel is more important and so far, Jesse has been nauseatingly sweet with Rachel.

 

“I think we should give him a chance. I mean, he went out of his way to transfer here just to make things easier for Rachel.” Quinn says before the others can continue.

 

“Stay out of it Quinn. You’re Rachel’s friend so you’ll be taking her side. Besides, it’s not really true he did it for Rachel. You heard what Mr. Schue said. His parents are in Bali so he has no choice but to be where his guardians are.” Kurt says jumping in.

 

“Actually, that’s not quite true. I’m eighteen so I don’t need a legal guardian. I chose to move in my uncle and aunt because it gives me a chance to be near Rachel. I have no problem giving up another National title just to be with her.” Jesse says smugly.

 

“That’s enough. Everyone that has ever auditioned for this Glee Club has gotten in and I’m not about to start changing things now. He joins and that’s final.” Will say, finally stepping in.

 

“Great. That just means I’m going to have to fight harder to get a solo.” Kurt mumbles under his breath. He stops once he sees the glare Will sends his way.

 

*** * ***

Every time Santana sees them being all lovey-dovey, she has this urge to rip Jesse’s head off and stuff it up his ass, that unexplained and strange feeling in the spit of her stomach churning with a ferocity that surprises her. It’s only when Puck starts to ‘date’ Mercedes out of convenience that she realises the odd feeling that appears every time Rachel waxes poetic about Jesse is nothing but blinding jealousy. She nearly chokes on Sue’s special protein and cleansing shake at the realisation.

 

At first, Santana thinks it’s because she subconsciously wants Jesse. The guy is the male version of Rachel and even more conceited and self-absorbed (yes, Rachel is one of her best friends, but the girl _**is**_ self absorbed), but the dude is easy on the eyes. She decides to do the ‘noble’ thing, and finds enough distractions so that she won’t be tempted to act on those repressed feelings (though repressed isn’t strong enough to describe said feelings because her first reaction whenever she sees him is to fight the urge to vomit. She won’t even go near the whole wanting to rip his head off). She continues the friends with benefits thing with Brittany and she also resumes her ‘whatever’ with Puck, but that only lasts for so long. It’s not as satisfying as it was before, so soon, to her surprise, she stops those arrangements. Brittany smiles in understanding and shrugs it off. Puck looks at her as if she’s the result of some weird mind-altering experiment. He shares as much wit her, which just earns him a swift smack upside the head. She can see how happy Rachel is with Jesse, and after all the torture she has put Rachel through, the least she can do is ignore the jealousy. She makes a promise to never come between them, and do all that she can to keep the girl happy. Besides, a happy Rachel means a more relaxed Rachel, which in turn means a more enjoyable Glee practice. It’s really a win-win situation for everyone. She ignores the fact that she has to repeat that to herself constantly in order to fight the violent urges against Jesse that seem to simmer just beneath the surface, ready to explode at any moment.

 

When Rachel’s birthday rolls around on the last day of school before their break, they are all shocked to find out that the girl just wants to spend it at home with her fathers and of course, Santana, Quinn, Brittany and Jesse. Her dads surprise the diva with her own very Mini Cooper. Santana can’t help but tease Rachel about her very own clown car, and how it’s the perfect size for the diminutive diva. She goes as far as to speculate out loud if the diva would be able to see out of the windshield if she drove anything bigger, earning loud guffaws and laughter from the other people present and a mock glare from the diva. Quinn immediately stops at and says something about Rachel being the perfect size for hugs before she pulls the diva into a bone crunching hug. Jesse glares at Quinn, and Santana silently agrees with her, while wishing she were the one holding Rachel like that.

 

The girls bond even more during their Christmas break. Jesse flies to Bali in order to join his parents. It leaves Rachel a lot of free time to spend with the girls. Santana can’t help but feel absolutely charmed at the effort Rachel makes to compensate for Quinn’s lack of blood relatives, so that feeling of jealousy still gnawing and churning at the pit of her stomach is a bit unsettling and surprising.

 

The Berry house is tastefully decorated with a nice blend of Christmas and Hanukkah. What impresses Santana most is how Rachel makes an effort without making matters worse for Quinn. She also realises that at home, Rachel is a lot more relaxed and her sense of fashion is normal for a change. It’s the day before Christmas Eve, and they’re all hanging out in Rachel’s room because it’s bigger. They’re exchanging presents because Brittany insists that this way, they can all open their gifts from each other first thing Christmas morning.

 

“May I ask you girls something? I find myself in need of some advice.” Rachel says in an unusually insecure voice.

 

“Of course. You can ask us anything.” Quinn replies with an encouraging smile as she takes one of Rachel’s hands in hers and laces their fingers together, earning a grateful smile from the diva.

 

Santana wants to shove Quinn off the bed and be the one holding Rachel’s hand instead. The discovery leaves her a bit disconcerted. She distracts herself by shoving popcorn in her mouth.

 

“How do you know when you’re ready for sex?” Rachel whispers, her face flaming red.

 

Santana nearly chokes on a kernel of popcorn.

 

“What brought that up?” Quinn asks with a frown. She knows Rachel wants to wait.

 

“Jesse has been pressuring me and saying sex is no big deal when I tell him I’m not ready. He has backed off for now, but I know it’s only a matter of time before he asks again. Is there a way to tell a guy no and still have him be ok?” Rachel says looking down at her comforter.

 

“Well, you can always just say yes and avoid that problem. Sex is nice, besides, what’s the worse that can happen?” Brittany says. “No offence Quinn.” She adds once she remembers Quinn’s pregnancy.

 

Santana’s first urge is to fly to Bali and beat the ever living shit out of him. It’s then that she has an epiphany and all the missing pieces to a very frustrating puzzle fall into place. She doesn’t have repressed feelings for St. Jerkwad. She has feelings for Rachel. She nearly hyperventilates at the discovery. Santana’s second urge is to tell Rachel that no, she shouldn’t have sex with anyone unless it’s with her. She groans out loud before falling face first on Rachel’s bed. It certainly explains her hostilities towards anyone who goes near Rachel.

 

“You ok there San?” Brittany asks.

 

“Uh yeah, sorry. I think you should tell him to fuck off, to keep it in his pants and to stop being so damn pathetic. He keeps that up and I’ll be more than happy to castrate him with a toothpick while you hit him over the head with a dictionary opened with the entry for the word ‘NO’. You’re a self sufficient woman, Rach. Don’t let that asshole make you do something you don’t want.” Santana says in a tone of voice she hasn’t used with Rachel since they became friends. It surprises everyone in the room. The two blondes glare at Santana when they notice Rachel squirm uncomfortably.

 

Rachel blinks a few times at Santana’s words and attitude. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to anger you with my questions.” Rachel replies. Santana feels like she just kicked a puppy once she takes in the flash of pain on Rachel’s face and her tone of voice. She hasn’t heard Rachel speak so softly in quite some time. She wants to kick herself for being the cause of it.

 

“I think what Santana is trying to say in her emotionally stunted way is that it’s your decision to make. He’s not worth it if he can’t respect your right to say no. For us, being girls, sex for the first time is a big step. As you can see, there are some very serious consequences to go along with the emotional ones. If you question yourself, then you shouldn’t go through with it. Don’t make the same mistake I did, Rach. Your first time should mean something more than to make yourself feel pretty or to keep a guy interested. You’re more than that.” Quinn says before Santana can say anything else that might upset the diva further. She makes a mental note to talk to Santana privately and ask her what the hell that was for.

 

Santana breathes out a sigh that is a mixture of relief and frustration. Leave it to Quinn to say what she wants to without upsetting Rachel. She really needs to watch her reactions and her words. She keeps forgetting that even though Rachel presents a very self-assured façade to the school when she’s picked on, in reality, the girl is quite vulnerable and her feelings are very easily hurt. If she could, she would kick her ass for being so insensitive again. When she sees Rachel bring their laced hands to put a kiss on Quinn’s fingers, her jealousy flares white hot again.

 

“Sorry Rach. I’m just not really used to this touchy feely sh… stuff.” Santana apologises, earning her three surprised looks. It’s a well known fact that Santana López would rather French kiss a great white shark than say she’s sorry. So far, since they started this friendship, she has apologised to Rachel three times in the span of a month and a half.

 

“It’s ok Santana. I know you’re just looking out for me.” Rachel says gently as she reaches over and takes Santana’s hand with her free hand.

 

Both girls do a double take once their hands make contact because there is this involuntary shiver that travels up and down their entire body. Quinn notices this and smiles as if the secrets of the universe just revealed themselves to her.

 

The remainder of their break is spent hanging out with family and each other. Santana’s mood seems to improve because she gets to spend it with her friends without guys getting in the way. The only downside is the fact that once _**that**_ realisation hits her, she can’t help but be aware of everything that is Rachel Berry. They decide to bypass Puck’s New Year’s bash in favour of spending it at Rachel’s place. Quinn isn’t in the mood to deal with Puck and his constant pressure to keep the baby, and Rachel? Well, the diva would drug and shave Schuester’s head if it meant it would make things easier for Quinn. Santana tags along because she feels this surge of jealousy whenever Rachel goes out of her way to be nice to Quinn. Brittany is just happy with whatever.

 

When Jesse returns from Bali, he convinces Rachel that it’s ok to search for her birth mother. A tape surfaces mysteriously as Rachel goes through her baby things. Santana has to fight to keep her disappointment from showing when Rachel shoves the tape aside and quietly asks Quinn if she’ll be there for her when she listens to it if and when she feels ready for it. There is no request for Santana, Brittany, or Jesse to be there. Jesse scowls at that and performs a storm out that rivals Rachel’s. It’s scary how similar those two really are. Brittany puts an understanding hand on Santana’s shoulder when she notices the Latina trying to hide her hurt feelings at the exclusion.

 

Ever since the discovery of that tape, things between Rachel and Jesse seem to be deteriorating. The opposite happens between Quinn and Rachel. The two girls are now inseparable. Rachel makes it a point to meet Quinn outside of her classrooms, takes her books, and escorts the blonde to the next class whenever possible. Jesse goes as far as to imply that there is something more going on between the girls, giving more credence to the already abundant rumours that are floating around. Santana and most of the Gleeks (the non-gossiping ones) silently agree. The relationship between Quinn and Santana deteriorates as a result. Brittany just shrugs her shoulders when she’s asked for details about the former Head Cheerio and the diva. Rachel and Quinn deny anything more than friendship and ignore the gossip around them.

 

Fate it seems, has a sick sense of humour because Jesse, Santana and the rest of New Directions walk in the music room just as Rachel is holding a crying Quinn in her arms and talking sweetly to her. It’s obvious to anyone with eyes that the girls share a very deep level of intimacy.

 

“Listen to me, Quinn. You are beautiful, inside and out. You’re not a disappointment, and you’re certainly not selfish. If you decide to give your baby up for adoption, it will be because you have her best interests at heart. Your decision will be one made out of love. Don’t ever doubt that. Your pregnancy makes you glow in a way that makes you even more stunning than usual. I’m sorry the idiot that calls himself your father said those things to you before I could stop him.” Rachel says as she wipes Quinn’s tear streaked cheeks with a gentleness they have never seen. When she’s sure Quinn isn’t crying anymore, she leaves one of her hands on her cheek, so she’s cupping the blonde’s face.

 

Everyone’s jaws drop open at the sight. Just when they think nothing else will surprise them, they see Quinn lean in to Rachel’s touch and grab the diva’s free hand in hers. She then turns her face slightly and places a soft kiss on Rachel’s palm. Rachel laces their fingers together and brings her joined hands to her mouth before she places a soft kiss on Quinn’s knuckles. Santana’s jealousy flare up in ways she has never experienced whenever Rachel is with Jesse.

 

“Thanks Rachie. You always know just what to say to make me feel better.” Quinn whispers.

 

“It’s the truth.” Rachel replies just as soft, but before she can continue, Jesse explodes.

 

“How can you keep denying that you’re cheating on me with her? Any moron with eyes and half a brain could see you care for her more than you care for me.” Jesse screams.

 

Rachel and Quinn jump at the intrusion, completely unaware they’ve been watched. Rachel drops her hand from Quinn’s face. They turn to face the others while separating slightly, but their hands remained laced. “Are you ok?” Rachel asks Quinn because she’s sure being startled like that can’t be good for the baby.

 

“Yes I am.” Quinn replies softly, blushing crimson, but still refusing to let go of Rachel’s hand. It’s not her fault every one has such a dirty, one-tracked mind.

 

Rachel’s actions make Jesse angrier because Rachel’s first concern again, is Quinn’s wellbeing. The others truly wonder how Rachel and Quinn keep denying that they’re together like _that_.

 

“I would appreciate it if you were to stop screaming and scaring us out of our minds. This kind of shock can’t be good for a pregnant woman.” Rachel says evenly. “I’m also getting tired of repeating this, but I am not, nor will I ever cheat on you with Quinn or anyone else. This pointless and baseless accusation is getting quite tiresome.” Rachel adds with a glare of her own.

 

“Stop treating me like an idiot. I have eyes. My suspicions of your infidelity are not pointless and baseless. What do you call whatever it is the two of you were doing before we interrupted you?” Jesse fires back, his voice still loud but not yelling anymore.

 

“This…” Rachel starts to say as she sweeps her free hand between Quinn and herself. “…is me giving my best friend some much needed support and kind words in order to make her feel better after a trying moment.” She says in a tone of voice one would used to explain something to a toddler. “Thank you for lowering your voice. It was quite jarring to my ears, and I have yet to lose any of my hearing. Who knows what that constant assault would have done to my perfect pitch?” Rachel adds as an afterthought.

 

The others roll their eyes at the last comment. Santana can’t help but find it absolutely adorable.

 

“You expect me to believe that? I don’t see you being so touchy feely with anyone else. And I didn’t do it for your benefit. Yelling puts undue stress on my vocal chords.” Jesse fires back.

 

“Actually, she hugs me a lot. But we’re not having sex either. The others aren’t her friends, so Rachel won’t hug them.” Brittany says with a cheerful smile.

 

“And yet, you don’t accuse her of having an affair with Brittany as well.” Quinn says as she tries to fight back a set giggles. She still refuses to let go of Rachel’s hand. If anything, she just holds on tighter. She’s not about to give up her best friend’s support just because her boyfriend is a control freak and a jealous drama queen that makes Rachel seem laid back.

 

“It’s not the same. Rachel doesn’t drop everything and anything the way she does with you.” Jesse fires back.

 

Santana agrees silently with that statement. Rachel has gone above and beyond for the pregnant teen (short of proposing marriage, Santana’s mind supplies). Because really, as physically affectionate as the diva is with Brittany, it lacks the intimacy she shares with Quinn. Why can’t Rachel be like that with her? ‘Because you go out of your way to appear cold and distant whenever she tries to. Because you know that you’ll ravish her if she were to cup your face with the same tenderness she does with Quinn.’ Her mind supplies, which only serves to fuel her jealousy even more.

 

“Stop it Jesse. This is not the time, nor the location for this conversation. Not to mention that you’re behaving like an overgrown child. Had I wanted to date one, I would have accepted one of Finn’s countless advances. I’m quite insulted that you still don’t trust my word. How many times do I need to tell you that Quinn and I are good friends? Our feelings for one another are platonic by nature and will always remain so. She’s like a sister to me.” Rachel says as she lets out a frustrated sigh. She does not need to be having this conversation again, and in front of the entire Glee Club to boot.

 

“You really must think I’m as dumb as Brittany if you think I’m going to buy that excuse again. I know what I walked into. You’re friends with her and Santana as well, yet I’ve never seen you baby them the way you do with Quinn.” Jesse spits out.

 

In a flash, Rachel lets go of Quinn’s hand and is in Jesse’s face. She slaps him before Santana can make her way to him. Everyone’s jaws drop even further, because this is so unlike Rachel. Luckily, Mike, Matt, and Puck manage to restrain Santana long enough for Brittany to make her way and put a soothing hand on Santana’s shoulder. It takes a superhuman effort, but Santana nods and everyone relaxes slightly. For now, she’ll wait and see if the idiot will continue to insult Brittany. He even thinks of calling Rachel names and God help him because she will really rip his head off and shove it up his ass.

 

“Your issues, irrational as they might be, are with me and me alone. Leave my friends out of them. You insult any one of my friends like that again, and I’ll make Santana seem like a kitten.” Rachel says in a tight voice. They can see that the tiny diva’s body is coiled tight like a viper ready to strike. Santana is surprised at the anger pouring out of the diva’s body because she never would have guessed Rachel would ever react this way before.

 

Quinn immediately gets up and grabs Rachel’s right fist. “Don’t Rachie. He’s not worth it.” Quinn says softly into Rachel’s ear as she slowly uncurls the diva’s hand and laces their fingers once again. The rest of them stare slack-jawed when the see Rachel relax slightly.

 

Santana fights the urge to push Quinn aside. More than anything wishes to be the one to be able to calm the diva in such a manner. When she sees their interaction, it’s very hard to not think that they’ve lying to her and Brittany. The only reason she doesn’t outright believe the rumours is because Rachel has never lied to her. If anything, the girl is honest to a fault.

 

Jesse stares at Rachel shocked as he lifts his hand to cradle his now sore left cheek. He had no idea the girl could hit so hard. He can’t help but stare at the two girls holding hands again. “You know what? You like her so much; you can stay with her. We’re through.” He says as she storms out yet again.

 

Everyone stares, waiting for the Rachel to run after him. They’re all shocked when all she does is whisper something to Quinn and both girls turn to grab their things and leave the choir room.

 

“We’re heading home. I’ll see you girls tomorrow, ok?” Rachel stops to say to Santana and Brittany. “I’m sorry Jesse was mean to you. You’re not stupid, Britt. Don’t ever believe him or anyone.” Rachel adds as she runs the back of her fingers from her free hand on Brittany’s face, which is soon followed by a peck on her cheek. The taller blonde smiles and nods her head in gratitude.

 

They leave before anyone can say anything. They wonder how they never noticed how physically affectionate Rachel is with Brittany as well before all of this.

 

“Shouldn’t we follow?” Brittany asks Santana softly.

 

“Yeah. Rachel probably needs us, and practice would suck without our best singer anyway.” Santana says as she links pinkies with Brittany and they follow the other two girls.

 

They’re not surprised that by the time they reach Santana’s car, Rachel’s is no longer in the parking lot. They drive silently to Rachel’s place. Brittany wonders if Santana will now make a move on the diva now that she’s no longer with the Jesse. Santana wonders if it now means that Rachel and Quinn will be announcing a change in their relationship. The thought alone has her griping the steering wheel so hard her knuckles are white.

 

“Rachel only does relationships, so unless you’re ready for that, just keep being her friend. She and Quinn are friends. They’re not going to date now that she’s free, and they’re not having sex like we used to. They’re very close because they live in the same house.” Brittany says seriously.

 

Santana is about to deny what Brittany is implying and play dumb, but she knows that if there is one person who is perceptive about human behaviour and feelings is the blonde sitting beside her. Santana just nods her head, not trusting herself to speak just yet.

 

“Come on San. Our friend needs us for moral support.” Brittany says once they’re parked.

 

“It could just be because Rachel doesn’t like girls that way.” Santana mumbles.

 

“No, silly. She just sees Quinn like a sister.” Brittany says in a tone of voice that most people use with her when they’re trying to explain a math problem.

 

Santana gives Brittany a sad smile before she squares her shoulders and opens her car door. She can do this. She can be a good friend to Rachel. In no time, they ring the doorbell and wait for someone to open the door.

 

“Hey girls. Go on up. They’re in Rachel’s room.” Michael says with a smile. He knows his little girl just broke up with Jesse and even though he’s ecstatic about it because the boy always rubbed him the wrong way, he still feels bad for his baby girl.

 

“Thanks Mr. B.” Santana says seriously.

 

“It’s Michael. The whole mister bit makes me feel older than I am and it gets confusing when Dan is home.” Michael replies with a kind smile.

 

Santana and Brittany make their way up the stairs to Rachel’s room. They knock lightly, waiting for one of the girls to open the door. Santana still blushes at the memory of walking into a nude Rachel rubbing lotion in her body after knocking on the door and not waiting for an answer. She hadn’t realised the room is soundproof and just assumed Rachel was listening to music through her headphones like she’s known to do when she’s in school. Needless to say that the sight of Rachel’s perfect body is forever burnt in her retinas. She is also not surprised to see Rachel is the one who gets up to open the door. Ever since the pregnancy was revealed, Rachel treats Quinn as if she’s made of crystal.

 

“Hey. Shouldn’t you be at practice?” Rachel says with a smile. She knew that it was only a matter of time before Santana and Brittany showed up at her place.

 

“Sure, but our captain and best singer bailed on us. I think she’s feeling a bit down, so I decided checking up on her wellbeing is more important than some silly practice.” Santana answers as she nudges the diva’s shoulder with her own on her way in.

 

“Ditto.” Brittany says smiling. “Are you ok, Rachie?” Brittany asks as they settle on her bed.

 

“Yeah. I mean, I’m sad we broke up because I kind of really like him, but I can’t be with someone who doesn’t trust me. So in the end, this will be the best course of action.” Rachel says with a shrug of her shoulders. “To be honest, I’m more upset that he broke up with me the way he did, you know, in front of everyone else. Not to mention how paranoid he’s been, thinking that Quinn and I were together _**together**_.” Rachel says with a slight grimace. “No offence, Quinnie.” Rachel adds as she gives the pregnant blonde a sweet smile.

 

“None taken.” Quinn says as she shudders at the mental image of being with Rachel like _**that**_.

 

How in God’s green Earth can anyone think they’re involved romantically is something neither girl will ever understand. Both girls share a look and a shudder as the thought crosses their minds again.

 

Watching their reactions, Santana think that maybe, just maybe those are just rumours because the sheep have nothing better to do. She thinks about Brittany’s words and there’s a sliver of hope. She pushes all thoughts aside and instead, she decides to concentrate on being a good friend to Rachel. Brittany’s right again. Right now, the diva needs her friends, even if she’s not necessarily drowning in sorrow over her sudden ‘single’ status.

 

It comes as no surprised that Jesse makes the announcement he’s done wasting his time with a bunch of losers and transfers back to Carmel and Vocal Adrenaline. He is however surprised beyond words that Rachel doesn’t make an effort to stop him or ask him to reconsider his decision. Looking at the girl, one would never guess she was just dumped the day before. He leaves with a bruised ego and some major resentment. The others are about to lose it on Rachel because their main competition know what their set list will be. They reconsider when she the murderous glares on Santana’s, Brittany’s, and Quinn’s faces.

 

Over the next few days, words spreads out that Jesse dumped Rachel because he caught the diva making out with the pregnant girl in the choir room. Because the girls in said gossip don’t even bother to deny the allegations, the rumours get worse.

 

Finn in the mean time tries his best to gain favour with Rachel. He is sure that with Jesse out of the picture it’s only a matter of time before Rachel falls for his charm. Rachel, still angry with him, lets him know in no uncertain terms she’s not interested in him. He looks around embarrassed that the diva told him off in front of everyone. His embarrassment turns to anger when he sees those present snickering in his face.

 

“So it’s true then? You’re gay now?” Finn asks Rachel as he enters the music room. He has this need to hurt her in some way so she can feel as crappy as he is since she started this thing with Quinn.

 

“Excuse me? How is that any of your business?” Rachel replies with her own question as she looks up from her sheet music, shooting him a glare.

 

“You’re not even denying it? Are you and Quinn one happy lesbian couple now?” Finn asks with his voice gaining volume.

 

“Will you keep your voice down? I’m getting sick and tired of everyone trying to try and bust my ear drums.” Rachel says, her gaze not softening one bit. “Why are you even here?” She asks. She has made it very clear she is not interested in him and that she is still angry at the way he has been treating Quinn. She understand being angry and hurt, but in her opinion, it doesn’t give anyone the right to be cruel. He didn’t even make sure she had a place to go before she kicked her out of his house. He never cared.

 

“I’m concerned. Is that why Jesse dump you? Because he was tired of being cheated on?” Finn asks in a quieter voice, but still not willing to let things go.

 

“You’re just concerned about your reputation. Everyone thinks you’re gay because you’re in Glee. I’ve heard the rumours too. I know other jocks are mocking you and saying that you’re gay and Quinn was your beard. I know it hurts your precious reputation that the loser from Glee continues to reject you and seems to have gone gay for your ex-girlfriend. I’m not deaf nor am I stupid. I just don’t care about the rumours.” Rachel fires back, tired of games and wondering why others seem to be obsessed with her life.

 

“What the hell am I supposed to think? You start the year doing everything to get me, then all of a sudden everything is about Quinn.” Finn says in frustration.

 

“I don’t like to keep repeating myself, so pay attention this time. My issues with you have nothing to do with my sexuality, but everything with how insensitive you’ve been to Quinn.” Rachel says slowly, enunciating each word. When she’s done, she pinches the bridge of her nose in a vain attempt to stem the headache already forming.

 

“That’s bullshit. If it’s not true then why aren’t you denying what everyone is saying about you two?” Finn asks just as he looks up to see the glare that Rachel is giving him. He visible cringes.

 

“What’s the point? I could deny it until I’m blue in the face, but if the imbeciles that roam our school have made up their minds there is nothing I can do to change that. It’ll be like talking to a rock. I don’t have the energy or the time to deal with that.” Rachel answers with a resigned sigh before she picks up her sheet music and leaves. So much for a quiet and productive free period.

 

The rest of the day goes downhill from there. Rachel mood keeps deteriorating. That mixed with Quinn’s mood swings makes for some very unpleasant times at McKinley. They’re not used to the diva snapping everyone’s head off. Interestingly enough, Rachel’s bad mood seems to be affecting those in her immediate vicinity. It results in a very moody Quinn and a definitely angry Santana. The strangest sight and almost as scary at the previous two, is an upset and cranky Brittany. The girl is known to be a walking ray of sun. That day, any student who has direct contact with the girls leaves in tears or fearing for his or her life.

  
  


TBC...

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For disclaimers, please see beginning of ch. 1
> 
> Like everything I write, this is self-edited, so all mistakes are mine and mine alone.

Chapter 2

 

Quinn’s bad mood is excused as a result of hormones, but they all throw Rachel dirty looks for getting Santana and sweet Brittany to join the other two in their bad moods. At least they aren’t stupid enough to retaliate against the diva. Everyone speculates that Rachel and Quinn have had their first lover’s quarrel. The rumours only serve to darken Rachel’s mood even more because they’re starting to bother Quinn, which in turn gets Santana in a near murderous spree. No one is safe. Brittany is still cranky so the ditzy blonde isn’t there to calm the Latina. Quinn is rivalling Jekyll and Hyde, her mood swings are so violent. After a few more days, the rest finally begin to see a pattern. They need to stop antagonising Quinn because that sets the diva off and vice versa, which results in Santana losing what little patience she has and it causes Brittany to frown and be cranky, thus taking away the only person they know that can keep the Latina’s temper somewhat reined in.

 

While the entire school recovers from a very long week, Will decides to work on artistic expression and stage presence before they decide on a new set list. The girls choose to do a Lady Gaga song because it fits their assignment to a T. Mercedes, still unsure of what that entails, jokingly proposes spying on what Vocal Adrenaline is doing and to her surprise, the other girls agree readily. Mercedes and Tina chicken out when plans are finalised.

 

They settle on one of the balconies in Carmel’s auditorium. They’re surprised to see Shelby Corcoran lecturing her kids about theatricality and stage presence. Maybe teachers do share a brain. They’re in awe at how easily the woman manages to keep everyone’s attention solely on her without constant threats or dramatics. When she asks the kids a question and receives a blank stare as her only answer, Shelby sighs in frustration and decides to show them through example. She tells the pianist there (who happens to be Jesse for the time being) to play the accompaniment for ‘funny girl’.

 

Rachel’s eyes widen slightly at the sound of Shelby’s voice. She chalks the feeling of déjà vu to the coincidence of both choir directors giving a lecture on the same topic. The familiarity of that voice gnaws at her, but she shakes her head to clear it. They’re too far from the stage, so clearly her mind is playing tricks on her. Quinn looks at her strangely.

 

When Shelby starts to sing, time stands still. Rachel’s face shows recognition and shock. Santana can see the diva tense and get up from their hiding place. She sees and hears Brittany trying to stop Rachel from walking out and doing who knows what. She’s about to join Brittany when Quinn puts a restraining hand on her arm and motions for the taller blonde to stop as realisation dawns on her as well.

 

“Don’t.” Quinn says and it’s then that Santana realises how pale Quinn has gotten. Brittany immediately puts one of her arms around Quinn’s waist and pulls the girl into a sitting position.

 

“What the fuck Quinn. Rachel’s gonna get us in trouble.” Santana hisses.

 

“You don’t understand. She has to do this.” Quinn says, eyes never leaving the stage.

 

“Then explain it to us.” Brittany says softly.

 

Quinn sighs. She looks between the two confused girls and Rachel, who is now approaching the stage.

 

“Do you girls remember the tape Rachel found with her baby things?” Quinn asks. “Well, we listened to it shortly after you guys left. Inside was a message…” Quinn continues once she sees the nod from both girls.

 

Quinn explains what she thinks is going on by letting them know the contents of that tape. The other girls stare at her slack-jawed when they find out that Shelby Corcoran, music director of one of their biggest rivals is none other than Rachel’s biological mother. Santana has to bite down the familiar surge of jealousy whenever she’s faced with Quinn and Rachel’s close friendship. It hurts when Rachel chooses Quinn instead of her. The three girls watch helplessly as Rachel speaks the moment Shelby is done singing, and blurts out that she thinks Shelby is her biological mother. Shelby immediately dismisses her kids and the two brunettes sit down tentatively by each other and begin to talk.

 

*** * ***

One day later, out of the blue, Judy Fabray shows up at the Berry residence in an attempt to repair her dying relationship with Quinn. Although both girls are slightly suspicious, they accept Judy’s apology at face value. Quinn wants nothing more than to have at least one of her parents accept her so she gives her mom a chance to make amends. Rachel is wary, but she can’t begrudge Quinn’s desire to reconnect with her mother. She clamps down on her desire to tell Judy off because really, what kind of woman can just allow her husband to kick her sixteen-year-old pregnant daughter to the streets with nothing more than a small duffle bag worth of possessions? She only fights that urge because she knows it will hurt Quinn. Instead, Rachel settles by letting Judy know in no uncertain terms that she better not blow this chance. The older blonde promises that her feelings are genuine and she has Quinn’s best interests at heart this time.

 

As happy as Quinn is with the turn of events with her mom, she’s surprised at her reluctance to move back with the woman. A few months ago, she would have jumped at the chance to return ‘home’, but after living with Rachel and her fathers for the past couple of months, she feels as if she’s leaving behind her home. They eventually agree on time split between the two households until Quinn can feel comfortable again in the Fabray residence. Eventually, they decide to sell the old house because Quinn feels like an outsider. Russell tries to fight it, but can’t, since the house was Judy’s before they were married. Thank God for prenups.

 

*** * ***

Rachel now more than ever needs a friend in her life because she has never been so confused. She loves her fathers, but the allure of having her mother in her life is too strong to resist. She wishes more than ever to be able to talk to the girl who has now become her best friend, but keeps it all in because said girl is now dealing with her own issues and needs Rachel’s support. Those closest to her can see the diva slowly retreating to herself. It doesn’t help that the rest of the Glee is sure it’s only a matter of time before Rachel transfers to Carmel. It doesn’t matter how much Rachel denies it. They still give her grief. Santana loses it when Will does nothing. She threatens them to within an inch of their lives. They all know it’s a promise and for the time being, they back off.

 

Surprisingly, it’s Santana who offers Rachel a shoulder to cry on. Brittany ends up being the support system for Quinn so that Rachel can focus on her issues better. The Latina spends all of her free time with the diva. She makes sure to drive her to and from voice, ballet, and piano classes. “You’ve only had your license since your birthday and with all the snow, ice and lunatics out there I’m not taking chances.” Santana says when Rachel asks why. If Rachel feels sad, Santana is there with a box of Kleenex and an endless supply of movies (all of Rachel’s favourites). If anyone at school gives the diva grief, Santana puts the fear of God in them. Soon, hugs, hand holding, and the likes become more and more common. It’s sheer torture for Santana. It’s everything she has ever wanted. Rachel is as affectionate with her as she is with Quinn and Brittany but it backfires. Every time she feels Rachel’s hand, it sets her entire body on fire, no matter how innocent the touch.

 

Santana still has conflicting feelings towards Quinn. She loves the girl, but she still feels jealousy consume her completely every time she witnesses the familiarity between Quinn and Rachel. It continues to affect their relationship in a negative manner, and once again, the poor schmucks at McKinley end up paying the price. When things start to get really out of hand, Quinn and Brittany confront Santana.

 

“What gives S? Why are you being a royal bitch again?” Quinn asks frustrated.

 

“Nothing. What makes you think something is up? And for the record, I haven’t been behaving any differently.” Santana says.

 

“You’ve been walking around the same way you do when Rachel is sad or being picked on. Rachel is happy and no one is brave enough to pick on her now. What’s going on San?” Brittany says, seeing past the Latina’s indifferent façade.

 

Santana looks at her childhood friends and at their expectant faces. She feels as if she’ll explode if she doesn’t say anything. The stress and the feeling that she’s completely out of control might start to spill into her Cheerios performances and that is just not acceptable.

 

“I… I’m not sure how to say this and not have you hate me, Q.” Santana says softly.

 

“Why would I hate you?” Quinn asks confused.

 

“I… I think I’m in love with Rachel. Actually, scratch that. I know I’m head over heels in love with her.” Santana finally admits out loud.

 

Quinn and Brittany fight the urge to laugh because it’s been so obvious. It takes a bit of convincing, but finally Santana believes that there is nothing romantic going on between Rachel and Quinn.

 

“Why don’t you just ask her out?” Quinn asks.

 

“It’s not that simple. I don’t know if I can do the relationship bit with her.” Santana says, remembering Brittany’s words. “I’m afraid it’ll ruin our friendship if she says no.” Santana admits.

 

Quinn thinks about her next words carefully. She remembers the conversation where Rachel admits to be harbouring an attraction to the Latina for quite some time. Rachel had admitted that was the real reason why her break up with Jesse didn’t really affect her. Quinn wonders how much longer of this silly dance between the two brunettes she can take because they’re driving each other miserable and the schmucks the school are paying the price. Not that she really cares about the last part. She just wants her friends to be happy.

 

What if she’s not into girls?” Santana asks.

 

“You did not just ask that.” Quinn says in disbelief.

 

“What!? She was mooning over Frankenteen, had her flings with Puck, and St. Jerkwad. All boys.” Santana says, now that she believes Quinn and Rachel were never romantically involved she’s convinced Rachel is straighter than the proverbial arrow.

 

“I can tell you for a fact gender is a non issue with Rachel.” Quinn answers cryptically.

 

“How can you be so sure?” Santana asks.

 

“Just a feeling. Besides, have you noticed that Rachel hasn’t been all that broken up about her failed relationships with them?” Quinn points out; not willing to betray Rachel’s confidence, just like she’ll never say a thing to Rachel about Santana’s feelings unless the Latina says it’s ok first. But, there is no rule that says she can’t play cupid.

 

“She’s shown no interest in girls before.” Santana fires back.

 

Quinn looks at Santana with disbelief. She reaches over and whacks Santana upside the head.

 

“What the fuck Q. Just because you’re pregnant and I won’t hit you doesn’t mean you can abuse me like that.” Santana grumbles.

 

“You deserved it.” Quinn says rolling her eyes. “That statement makes absolutely no sense. Weren’t you just now accusing Rachel and me of being secret lovers?” Quinn adds.

 

“I’m sure Rachel likes you back. I’ve seen the way she looks at you, but she won’t do anything about it. Rachel’s not the kind of girl to do that.” Brittany jumps back in the conversation before Santana can say anything. She’s tired of her two friends acting like idiots.

 

“What do you mean?” Santana asks, as she fights the urge to bang her head against a wall. Would it be too much to ask for people to speak without going in circles?

 

“She’s too used to being a girl. She might throw ginormous hints that she likes someone, but in the end, she always waits for them to do something to show her they’re worthy. Did you notice that Finn was the only who didn’t do anything romantic for Rachel and he’s the only one she hasn’t dated? Puck and Jesse both sang to her and Jesse even transferred to our school for her.” Brittany says with a shrug.

 

“Rachel never dated Finn because of Quinn.” Santana says.

 

“Not because she likes Quinn like that. She keeps telling him to get lost because he’s being mean to Quinn. Rachel doesn’t like it when people are mean to her friends. You saw how she was when Jesse called me dumb.” Brittany counters.

 

“She’s got you there. When have you ever seen Rachel hit anyone? God knows that the majority of the jocks and Cheerios, ourselves included, deserve a few well placed slaps and kicks, but she’s always refrained.” Quinn replies, hand on her unborn child. “We know that had Finn not been such a dick, it would have only been a matter of time before they dated. Before he got a chance to do his grand romantic gesture Jesse came into the picture.” Quinn adds.

 

“I know. It’s frustrating because you seem to know her so well and I can barely remember that she hates raw tomatoes but will eat them just to be polite. You know what to say to her, and what music to play for her when she’s sad or upset. You know her deepest secrets and I don’t.” Santana says with her eyes closed in the hopes of stopping her tears from falling.

 

“I’ve lived under the same roof with her for three months. It was either talk and get to know each other or kill each other. I’m glad we did because I found the best friend anyone can ask for. I can see how most could misconstrue our closeness, but you need to know that neither one of us would lie to you like this.” Quinn says seriously.

 

“Wow. You guys are beginning to sound like one another.” Santana mumbles.

 

“Are you ready to just be with Rachel and only Rachel?” Brittany asks, jumping back in the conversation.

 

“Rachel is the most high maintenance girl I’ve ever known, but when she gives her heart, she gives it completely. She’ll want to be the centre of your universe. If you’re not ready for the type of commitment Rachel wants and needs, then don’t start anything.” Quinn adds, unknowingly echoing Brittany’s warning words.

 

Santana looks at her childhood friends and thinks long and hard. These are the girls that have always been there for her, no matter what. If she can’t trust them, then who can she really? She takes a deep, calming breath and decides to open up.

 

“I might have thought I was attracted to St. Jerkward and it might have taken me a while to realise I was extremely jealous of St. Jerkwad being with Rachel and not the other way around, but I’ve been celibate since Thanksgiving.” Santana admits. The two blondes look at her surprised.

 

“Is that when you realised you’re in love with Rachel?” Quinn asks, thinking that in retrospect it explains so much of Santana’s odd behaviour.

 

“No. I didn’t realise it until the day she asked us about sex. I only realised why I was so jealous because the thought of Rachel being with anyone made me sick to my stomach.” Santana admits.

 

“And you still thought you were attracted to him?” Quinn asks in total shock.

 

“What? I just thought I was hostile because my subconscious was insulted he wasn’t attracted to me.” Santana says. “Okay, so I was reaching. I never thought about Rachel in a nice way until after she stood up for B and me during Sectionals.” Santana adds once she sees Quinn quirk her eyebrow. “What changed for you? Why did you and Rachel start to work things out?” Santana asks, hoping to deflect some of the attention away from her and at the same time gain some insight on Quinn and Rachel’s friendship.

 

“Rachel never gave up on me. No matter what I did, or how cruel I was, she always found a way to justify it. She was there when no one else was. When she came to me to apologise I couldn’t take my own guilt. It was killing me to see her beating herself up over doing something I wouldn’t have even hesitated in doing to her. I just had to make amends. I know it seems like there is more between us, but I promise you that I’m not attracted to her, but most importantly, she’s not attracted to me. Our relationship is truly platonic. I hate to use the term ‘only friends’ because there is nothing ‘only’ about our friendship. I know it sounds cliché, but she really is like a sister to me. We love each other, but we’re not in love with each other. Just like I love you, but I’m not in love with you.” Quinn says as she looks directly in Santana’s eyes, hoping that the Latina can see how sincere she is.

 

“It feels like no matter what I do; I’ll always come in second to you. She trusts you in a way she doesn’t trust me.” Santana says defeated.

 

“That trust is mutual and it came from necessity. Believe me when I say that you don’t want Rachel to see you the way she sees me. Don’t blow it because you’re jealous. I know I’ve lied and cheated a lot so trusting me blindly is hard, but Rachel hasn’t given you any reasons to doubt her word. You never lied to me about you and Britt. Don’t insult our friendship by thinking we would lie to you about something so important. You know how much Rachel values honesty.” Quinn says, hoping that this time her words will get through the Latina’s thick head.

 

“Say I believe you, now what?” Santana says. Quinn knows that this is as close as Santana will ever be to admitting she has been wrong and as close to an apology as she’ll ever get.

 

“You’re going to have to pull your head out of your ass and court her. Let her know you’re interested romantically and sweep her off her feet before Finn gets a chance to. We know that as dumb and clueless as he is, it’s only a matter of time before he figures out that he needs to apologise to me in order for Rachel to give him the time of day again.” Quinn adds.

 

*** * ***

Santana goes out of her way to be even nicer to Rachel. Whenever it is humanly possible, Santana escorts Rachel to and from her classes. She carries Rachel’s books. She makes sure to bring her little treats. She takes the diva to lunch off-campus on the days Rachel doesn’t bring her own. Santana starts to leave little gifts. Randomly, flowers, treats, and little notes appear in Rachel’s locker. There are flash drives filled with Rachel’s favourite songs or ones that Santana thinks the diva will like.

 

Rachel soaks up the attention like bone dry sponge suddenly thrown in a swimming pool. Her heart fills with hope that maybe her attraction is returned. She is flattered by the attention and the fact that Santana doesn’t shy away from giving her compliments in front of not only the Glee Club, but also the entire school. Santana finally gets the courage to ask Rachel to go on a date the Friday after Valentine’s Day. Santana takes Rachel to Columbus to see Rent’s taped final performance on Broadway in a movie theatre, and then takes her to dinner to a cozy Italian restaurant.

 

“How did you know about Rent?” Rachel asks with a shy smile as they eat their dinner.

 

“My cousin Yolanda works for the company that was in charge of promoting it. She mentioned it in passing once she found out I’m in Glee.” Santana replies blushing crimson.

 

Rachel thinks the Latina looks adorable like that and it takes a lot of self-restrain to not press her lips to the other girl’s. Instead, Rachel settles for a light peck on the cheek. It causes both of them to blush and smile shyly at each other.

 

They talk about their respective families and their dreams. Rachel goes on to explain her relationship with Quinn because she needs to make sure the Latina knows that there is nothing romantic between them. It’s all very similar to what Quinn has already said, but it’s nice to hear the confirmation from Rachel. Santana comes clean about her relationship with Brittany and assures Rachel that they haven’t been intimate with each other since Thanksgiving. Santana goes as far as telling Rachel she hasn’t really hooked up with anyone since then. They share the best tiramisu under the planet, and then make their way back to Lima. The drive back is spent playfully arguing about music, mostly what they should listen. It still throws Santana for a loop that Rachel listens to more than just show tunes. When she mentions that, Rachel reminds her yet again that they are after all a show choir, so of course she’ll push for as many show tunes as possible for performances. No matter what they can do with more contemporary songs, Rachel is convinced that there are some songs from musical theatre that truly requires more than just a pretty voice.

 

When they pull up to the Berrys’ driveway, Santana is unusually nervous. The times she’s gone out with Puck had always been formalities that led to sex right away. She knows that with Rachel, sex is the farthest thing that will happen, and oddly enough, she’s all right with that. She quickly gets out of the car, runs to open the passenger side door for Rachel offering the tiny diva her hand, and helps her out of the car. They walk hand in hand to Rachel’s front door and are happy to see that they have a whole twenty minutes before Rachel’s curfew of midnight.

 

Rachel stops by the door and looks up at Santana with the sweetest smile the Latina has ever seen.

 

“You look absolutely stunning. The moonlight makes you look like a goddess.” Santana says softly.

 

“Thank you Santana. You look amazing as well. Thank you for a lovely evening. This has been the best first date I’ve ever been to.” Rachel says shyly.

 

Santana hesitates slightly, but the sight of plump lips upturned into a small smile is too tempting and she prays that she’s not moving too fast. She cradles Rachel’s face and leans in and slightly down to brush her lips tentatively over Rachel’s. She nearly lets out a whoop of joy when she feels small hands encircling her neck. Santana immediately lowers her hand, and her arms immediately wrap around Rachel’s waist as they deepen the kiss ever so slightly. She pulls away before things get out of hand. This is, after all, their first official date. She doesn’t want to seem too pushy. She nearly melts into a puddle of goo at the slight pout she sees on Rachel. She quickly leans in and pecks the diva’s lips.

 

“I think you better go in before your dads come out looking for you.” Santana says softly, trying to slow her heart.

 

“Okay. I’m surprised they’re not hovering by the door.” Rachel replies with a silly grin plastered on her face. She places one final kiss on Santana’s lips before she opens and steps in after she waves lightly.

 

Santana waves back, a silly grin plastered on her face as well.

 

The following day, Santana shows up to drive Rachel to all her different classes because the Latina has a really hard time being away from the tiny diva. The remainder of the day is spent hang out with Quinn and Brittany. They talk and do homework. It seems that no matter what, their teachers are too sadistic to give them a weekend with no homework.

 

Santana has her first dinner at the Berrys as Rachel’s girlfriend on Sunday. Michael and Daniel do the standard ‘you break my little girl’s heart and I’ll hunt you down with an axe’ bit much to Rachel’s mortification. Santana smiles reassuringly at Rachel before she promises that she would do her best to not break Rachel’s heart on purpose. They smile approvingly because the girl is realistic enough to make sure her promise is one she can keep. Rachel smiles adoringly at Santana.

 

When they arrive to school on Monday, Santana does her customary opening of the car door for Rachel. She goes as far as to grab the smaller girl’s messenger bag before she takes the diva’s hand and laces their fingers together.

 

“I told you I’m not ashamed of you. The lemmings can jump in front of a moving truck for all I care. I will never deny us.” Santana says when she notices the slight look of apprehension on Rachel’s face.

 

Everyone’s eyes bulge out of their sockets when they see the obvious change in Rachel and Santana’s relationship. They all speculate that the diva didn’t want to deal with a pregnant teen and traded up. Rachel goes on a rampage when the rumours reach Quinn’s ears and she sees the stricken look on the blonde’s face. Rachel knows it’s not the rumours, but the fact that they imply Quinn is not good enough to hold on to that upsets the blonde. Her mood sours at that and once again, the general population of McKinley is reminded that an upset diva means an upset Santana. It doesn’t help that Santana herself is fed up of all the rumours involving her girlfriend and one of her best friends. She manages to cause enough damage that the rumours stop. At the very least, they’re not repeated anywhere in the vicinity of them. They wonder what changed for Rachel to care about those rumours now. Unfortunately, no one is brave enough to ask. By the end of the day, it’s official. Rachel and Santana are dating.

 

The rest of the Gleeks stare open mouthed when Rachel and Santana walk in the music room hand in hand trailed by a pair of laughing blondes. They make the mistake of speaking loud enough for Rachel to hear when they’re speculating that Rachel must have broken things off with Quinn because the former Head Cheerio is probably too frigid and too ashamed to be in an open romantic relationship with the diva. Santana sees the reaction on both her friends and the rest of the gleeks know just how lucky they are that Rachel manages to calm Santana enough that all they receive is a thorough verbal evisceration.

 

No one is really surprised when the ones who took place in that little gossip fest suffer a deluge of slushies the follow day.

 

Everyone is surprised at how protective Santana is of Rachel. It was common knowledge that no one picked on Brittany because they would suffer Santana’s wrath, but compared to her protective streak with the diva, Santana’s behaviour when defending Brittany seems almost laid back.

 

Santana is a nervous wreck when Rachel has her first dinner at the López-Aragón household as her official girlfriend the following weekend. The diva has been there countless of times since they have become friends, but it’s always been with the buffer of the two blondes and the knowledge that it was ‘only’ friendship. Santana finally understands Quinn disdain for the term ‘only friends’ because even before they were romantically involved, Rachel was more than ‘just’ a friend. Santana also understands why Rachel was nervous when it was her turn to have dinner with the Berrys as Rachel’s girlfriend. Of course, she keeps saying that _**her**_ nervousness is justified because unlike Rachel’s parents, Santana’s parents are insane and have no filter (well, mostly her mom and grandmother). She keeps repeating to herself that they like Rachel and things shouldn’t really change now that they’re officially dating.

 

Rachel nearly chokes on a cherry tomato when Sara (Santana’s grandmother) asks her if they’re being safe about sex and if Santana is being a ‘gentleman’ about it. When Santana says something about her girlfriend almost choking to death, she’s reminded that her dad is a doctor and should have had no problem performing the Heimlich before anything happened. Rachel finally manages to recover her breath, and after receiving encouraging smiles from Sara and Victoria (Santana’s mom) assures them she’s still a virgin and has no plans of engaging in anything like that until she feels ready. She’s forever grateful her younger brother begged is at a friend’s house.

 

Santana can’t believe her girlfriend is that blunt with her family. Then again, it really shouldn’t surprise this much, since they had a similar talk with Michael and Daniel. The big difference of course being that they didn’t spring this on her during dinner. They saved the talk until after dessert. She nearly drops to her knees to thank God because her dad finally manages to steer the conversation to safer and tamer topics.

 

*** * ***

Eventually, Finn makes an effort to apologise to Quinn and goes as far as to be cloyingly sweet to the blonde. Even a blind person can see that he’s doing this in the hopes of gaining Rachel’s forgiveness. Unfortunately for him, the diva only has eyes for Santana. She pretty much ignores him after letting him know in no uncertain terms that even though she’s happy he has seen the error of his way in regards to Quinn, there will be no future for them romantically because she is in love with Santana. It doesn’t go well. He says a few things that results in a black eye, a broken nose, two bruised ribs, and a busted lip for Finn, and Santana nearly getting suspended for fighting. Only Sue’s interference stops it, but as a result, Santana has to stay after school for detention on days she has no extracurricular activities for two weeks. She gladly takes the punishment and Rachel, who usually disapproves of violence, can’t help but stare adoringly at Santana as if she hung the moon on the night time sky. No one has defended her like that in the past.

 

*** * ***

The constant stress of dealing with rumours involving Rachel and Quinn starts putting a strain in their relationship again. No matter how close Quinn and Brittany are getting, when the chips are down and Quinn needs someone, she goes to Rachel first. It doesn’t help that the second Rachel notices there is something wrong with the shorter blonde; she drops everything in order to offer her support. It starts innocent enough. Santana and Brittany are busy with a last minute after school Cheerio practice. Quinn has an encounter with Karofsky that leaves her in tears. Rachel finds her sitting alone in choir room crying silently only because she forgot a copy of her sheet music and she didn’t feel like printing a new one.

 

“Quinnie, what happened? Who do I need to sic Santana on?” Rachel asks, a small smile appearing to match the one on Quinn’s face once the last sentence is uttered.

 

“I’m just being hormonal.” Quinn mumbles.

 

“No you’re not. You being hormonal is snapping Noah’s head off because he took the last BLT chicken Caesar in the cafeteria just before you could grab it. It could be you telling Mercedes or Kurt to stuff it because they’re discussing the latest fashion trends while taking shots at my wardrobe and you’re sick of that, or even you telling Mike to shove it because he makes a comment about your dancing skills and wishes you have the ability to turn and spin without getting nauseous. You crying here when you should be meeting me in the gym to watch Santana and Brittany’s practice is you being upset about something or someone. My guess is the latter. Please tell me what happened.” Rachel says gently as she grabs one of Quinn’s hands and laces them together. “Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up and then you can fill me and then we can have Santana put the fear of God in whoever did this.” Rachel adds as she pulls the girl to a standing position.

 

Quinn nods and gives Rachel a watery smile as they make their way to the nearest washroom. They walk in companionable silence to the gym, still holding hands.

 

Once they get settle on the bleachers, Quinn tells Rachel of her encounter with Karofsky.

 

Rachel listens and does her best to give Quinn nothing but support and kind words. It helps when she compares his childish behaviour with Finn’s, making Quinn giggle. She promises Quinn some much needed ‘best friends’ time and the two makes plans for a movie marathon.

 

“Thanks Rachie. You always know just what to do and say to make me feel better.” Quinn says sincerely as she brings their joined hands and places a kiss on Rachel’s fingers before she lays her head on the diva’s shoulder, looking happy and relaxed.

 

*** * ***

Santana can’t help but stare as Rachel holds Quinn’s hand and listens intently to whatever the blonde is telling _**her**_ Rachel. She can’t help but wonder what is going on when she sees the look of pure loathing that appears on her girlfriend’s face. She then sees Quinn face shift from sad to happy and she nearly knocks down the Cheerio closest to her when she sees Quinn kiss Rachel’s fingers. The first twinges of her jealousy make their reappearance, but she manages to push them down. It’s only Sue’s yelling through the megaphone that draws everyone’s attention back to their practice.

 

Santana’s blood starts to boil once she hears some of the stupider Cheerios begin to gossip about Rachel and Quinn. The only reason those girls remain healthy enough to stay on the squad is because they’re close to competition and Sue would kill Santana if she maimed anyone on the squad.

 

“If it bothers you seeing Rachel and Quinn like that, talk to them.” Brittany says in a soft voice once they’re alone.

 

“I’m fine. It just took me by surprise. I know she loves me.” Santana manages to reply in what she hopes is an even and sincere voice.

 

Brittany doesn’t look very convinced, but lets it go for now. She will say something if Santana starts to act like a dumb bunny again.

 

Santana knows she needs to talk to Rachel, but she doesn’t want to start a fight and ruin things because of her jealousy. She remembers only too well how the jealous boyfriend bit worked for Jesse. She decides to clamp down on her jealousy and hope for the best.

 

Rachel gives her a happy smile and leaps to her feet to greet the Latina. Santana for her part, wraps her arms around the diva’s waist and gives her a soul scorching kiss that’s passionate, loving, but above all, possessive.

 

Rachel doesn’t notice the very slight change in the Latina’s demeanour. She melts in Santana’s embrace and returns the kiss with everything that is in her.

 

Brittany thinks everything is ok, and hopes that the kiss must means that Santana really is okay with Rachel’s friendship with Quinn.

 

Quinn, for once is oblivious to everything else. She is still reeling from her encounter with Karofsky. She is eternally grateful she still can count on Rachel when the chips are down.

 

The four girls make it to the Berry household to hang out. If anyone notices how much more possessive Santana is acting towards Rachel, no one says a thing. They chalk it up to the fact that Wednesdays are usually rough on the couple because they don’t have a single shared class.

 

Soon after, things start to go downhill. Rumours of Rachel’s infidelity, and how Santana is whipped start circulating the hallways. It doesn’t help that Finn is always trying to play the concerned friend. This time, it’s Quinn that nearly rips his head off and he reluctantly backs down. Santana of course, feels slighted because she feels it should have been her duty as Rachel’s girlfriend to tell Finn to back off. Her jealousy and anger only fester more when she is reminded that if she gets caught fighting again, not even Sue will be able to keep her from getting suspended.

 

As Quinn’s pregnancy progresses, the blonde’s demeanour gets increasingly darker. Rachel of course knows that it is from the stress and sadness of having to pick out a family that will adopt the little girl she’s falling in love with more and more with each passing day. It’s only Rachel’s insight and understanding that makes things more bearable for Quinn. The diva has shared her own experiences with Shelby. They vow not to make the same mistakes Rachel’s dads and Shelby made when they signed the contract that forbade contact between Rachel and Shelby until Rachel’s eighteenth birthday.

 

Santana grudgingly accepts that Rachel is the only one who can understand what Quinn is going through. She does her best to bury her jealousy when Quinn and Rachel go to visit Shelby to talk. It doesn’t help that both girls are the go to choices to the other when it comes to talking about their respective relationships with their mothers. Rachel says that it’s something else she and Quinn have in common. Rachel slowly notices how things are changing with Santana as the Latina is having more trouble hiding her jealous fits. Every time Rachel wishes to address the situation, Santana dismisses it and claims that Rachel is just being paranoid. Calling the diva a drama queen doesn’t help at all.

 

A few days later, a beautiful white, red, and purple orchid appears inside Rachel’s locker with a note stating ‘I’m an idiot. I’m sorry.’ Rachel smiles and goes to find her girlfriend. The kiss they share could be attributed as a cause for global warming. When they part, a happy and dazed Rachel skips to class.

 

*** * ***

Rachel’s phone chirps with a text message as she tries to make it to the music room. She smiles thinking Santana somehow found a way to send her something in the middle of this emergency meeting with Sue. The smile in her face turns into a frown of confusion once she sees it’s from Jesse.

 

**Meet me in the parking lot by your car please. Wish to apologise for being a dick. – J**

 

Frowning, she considers telling him to get lost. Then she thinks about how hypocritical it is of her when she has given others a chance to make amends. She is slightly suspicious and gets this odd feeling of foreboding, but she pushes them aside, telling herself it’s nothing more than her paranoia and pulls out her phone to send a reply.

 

**Sure, but why don’t you come to the music room instead? I’m on my way there. – R**

 

Rachel shoves the phone back in her messenger bag and continues to walk when the phone chirps again. ‘Now what?’ She thinks as she pulls it out.

 

**Rather not. Everyone hates me ‘cause I just upped and left. Rather meet in neutral ground. – J**

 

She supposes it makes sense, considering how no one really liked or trusted Jesse when they were together or when he was a student at McKinley.

 

**You have a point. Be there in 5. – R**

 

With a sigh, she turns and heads the opposite direction.

 

“Hello Jesse.” Rachel says to Jesse’s back, making him turn around.

 

“Rachel. I hear through the grapevine that you dumped the beached whale and you’re now moved down to the school tramp.” Jesse says in a way of greeting.

 

Rachel immediately sees red and launches to attack him, but instead of slapping him, which Jesse is expecting, she knees him in the groin, hard.

 

“I really misjudged you. You’re lucky I dislike violence.” Rachel says angry. “You’re pathetic.” She adds as she starts to turn around.

 

“You made a fool out of me by lying and cheating. I even switched schools for you.” Jesse manages to wheeze out through the pain.

 

“I never cheated. It’s not my fault you’re paranoid and plagued by delusions.” Rachel says turning around once again.

 

“Now.” Jesse says as he finally manages to prop himself to a sitting position against Rachel’s Mini.

 

Rachel’s brows furrow in confusion, which then turns to fear when a group of Jesse’s teammates surround her.

 

“Only you’d be stupid and naïve enough to think I’d ever lower my standards again and apologise to a freak like you.” Jesse sneers once he’s helped to his feet by one of his teammates. “You made a fool out of me. We were the perfect couple. We’re both talented, and even though you have a tendency to be overly dramatic, we would have been Broadway royalty. Without me, you’ll be nothing more than a wannabe like the rest.” He adds as he finally manages to ignore the pain still radiating through him and the urge to vomit by doing so.

 

“You really didn’t think we’d just let you make a fool of our leader and let you get away with it, did you?” A black girl sneers in Rachel’s direction. “Come on Jesse. You got first dibs.” The girl adds with a nasty glint in her eyes.

 

Next thing Rachel knows, she’s being pelted with eggs.

 

“Get used to this feeling. You’re a loser, because that’s all you’ll ever be.” Jesse sneers, leaving behind an egg covered Rachel.

 

Rachel manages to clean her hands and pull out her iPhone. She sends a quick message to Santana and Quinn, asking them to meet her by her car and to please bring a towel or two. She then slides to a sitting position against her Mini and lets her tears fall.

 

Santana feels her phone vibrate and hears it chirping with an incoming text as she makes her way to the music room. A chill runs down her spine at the words she sees there. She sprints as fast as she can to the parking lot to meet Rachel, wondering who she has to kill because Rachel would only request a towel if something bad happened.

 

When she makes it to the parking lot, the sight of Quinn holding on to Rachel hits her like a tonne of bricks. She pushes down the familiar burn of her jealousy once she realises Rachel is actually sobbing in Quinn’s arms. Then, as she gets closer she notices Rachel is covered in goop. Upon closer examination, she realises someone had the audacity to cover _**her**_ girl with eggs.

 

“What the fuck happened?” Santana says through gritted teeth and clenched fists.

 

“Baby.” Rachel exclaims as she extricates herself from Quinn’s arms and launches herself so she’s now holding on to Santana’s waist in a vice grip. The sobbing starts again as Santana’s arms slip to pull the diva impossibly closer. The only reason she’s not on a rampage trying to find out the culprit is the broken girl in her arms.

 

Once Rachel manages to calm down, they make their way to the Cheerios locker room.

 

“Quinn, could you please grab my spare set of sweats and t-shirt from my locker while I help Rachel clean up?” Santana manages to say in an even tone. She manages to push her jealousy down for the time being. Rachel is the only one that matters now. God help the losers who did this to her girl.

 

Quinn nods and in a flash is back with the requested items. She sets them down on the bench and sits down while she waits for Rachel and Santana to join them. She sends a text to let Brittany know where they are.

 

Brittany arrives just as Santana guides Rachel to the bench and they silently wait as Rachel gets dressed in Santana’s clothing.

 

“What happened _Mi Cielo_? Who did this to you?” Santana asks softly, making a superhuman effort to keep her voice gentle.

 

Rachel looks up at the girls around her. She burrows herself into Santana’s embrace and takes a deep breath as she savours the feeling of safety she gets whenever she’s in _**her**_ Latina’s arms.

 

“It all started with this text I got from Jesse…” Rachel eventually manages to tell them what happened, surprisingly without crying.

 

“I’m going to fucking kill them and make it hurt.” Santana says through clenched teeth in a voice so cold it sends a shiver down Rachel’s spine.

 

“Please don’t do anything rash. Right now, all I need is for you to hold me and make me feel safe again.” Rachel pleads as they make their way to the music room. They’re already a half hour late but they’re surprised when they see that everyone is still there.

 

All eyes turn to the four girls walking in. Any and all complaints die when they get a good look at Rachel’s demeanour and Santana’s fury. Quinn and Brittany fill the rest in. It’s only Will’s threats of suspension, expulsion, and a possible criminal charge that stop Santana and Puck. Santana is ready to go after Will when he suggests they sing a funk number in order to show their superiority. Only the girl on her lap with her face burrowed in the crook of her neck stops her.

 

“That’s so fucking lame, _Preciosa_ , you can’t just expect me to sit on my ass and do nothing to defend your honour after St. Jerkwad and his cronies did that to you.” Santana seethes.

 

“You can’t beat them up. That’ll get you arrested. There are much more satisfying ways to exact revenge and not get caught. They’ll know it’s us, but they’ll never be able to prove it. You give them a beating, there are pesky things like eyewitnesses and heaven forbid, physical evidence if any of them fight back. What I have in mind, will be just as satisfying.” Quinn says with an evil glint in her eyes. “Rachie, give it up. I agree with Santana. They deserve to be punished with something more than a stupid song.” She adds once she sees the look on the diva’s face.

 

“Fine, but no violence and nothing that will hurt them. I just want them humiliated.” Rachel admits softly, surprising even herself with that statement.

 

Somehow, those involved in the egging incident find their cars filled to the brim with the sludge from the local sewage treatment plant mixed with cow manure. Then mysteriously, they all suffer a bout of what seems like food poisoning. Days later, their hair products are spiked with hair removal gel. Their underwear seems to be laced with itching powder. Nude photos and videos of them in compromising positions are leaked and uploaded on Youtube. The only reason Santana and Quinn aren’t facing any criminal charges after Vocal Adrenaline’s mysterious mishaps is because no one has proof. Everyone from New Directions has solid alibis.

 

*** * ***

When Shelby finds out it was Jesse’s idea to humiliate Rachel and get revenge while at the same time put their competition in a funk, she withdraws any help she had promised Jesse to give him a leg up on the full-ride scholarship to NYU. If he wishes to study in New York, he’s on his own. She calls her contacts in NYU and other prominent New York universities known for their music and theatre programs and gives them a clear image of the kind of student they would get. In the end, that’s the worst kind of punishment and he has to settle for going to UCLA, his sixth choice. The only reason she hasn’t quit as their vocal coach is because she is under contract until the end of the school year.

 

*** * ***

Things reach their breaking point when Russell Fabray pays Quinn a visit and absolutely rips the young girl apart. There are accusations and threats flying everywhere and he only leaves because Rachel calls the police and he is escorted out of in handcuffs.

 

Rachel automatically opens her arms to give a sobbing Quinn all the support she can. Quinn clings on to Rachel for dear life. Santana walks in just as Rachel is finishing cleaning Quinn’s face.

 

It kills Santana to see the tenderness of Rachel’s touch directed to someone else that isn’t her. It feels horrible when she sees how Quinn craves and seeks Rachel’s support and tender caresses, so much so that Santana just storms out of the house. Rachel staying behind for Quinn and not running after the Latina fuels Santana’s jealousy to the breaking point. It doesn’t help that the next day Quinn is still clinging to Rachel or that Brittany isn’t taking her side, going as far as to say that Quinn really needs all the support she can get.

 

Rachel finally manages to corner Santana in an empty classroom after school lets out.

 

“What’s going on Santana? You’ve been ignoring me all day.” Rachel manages to ask calmly.

 

“Where is your shadow? Is it killing you that for once I’m not the one chasing after you?” Santana fires back. She feels like shit once she notices how Rachel recoils at that.

 

“Is this about my friendship with Quinn?” Rachel asks incredulously.

 

“Duh! You need to be careful there, Rachel. It seems that you’re hanging with her so much that you’re having your own blonde moments.” Santana continues, unable to stop herself.

 

Rachel is getting really tired of this destructive loop they find themselves in. Why can’t Santana just trust her the way she trusts the Latina’s friendship with Brittany.

 

“Why can’t you understand how I feel? No matter what I do, it will never be enough to make up for what I did to her!” Rachel says with her voice raised for the first time ever. It shocks both girls. Santana deflates at that because she’s not used to being on the receiving end of Rachel’s anger.

 

“Then explain it to me again, because I really don’t.” Santana all but begs. She knows the girl in front of her loves her. She just doesn’t understand why Rachel has this bond with the girl who used to be one of her best friends. “I get that you feel guilty you blabbed about the baby, but you’ve made things better. Compared to the years of torture we’ve put you through, that was nothing.” Santana adds.

 

“You’re wrong. What I did was so much worse. I’m surprised Quinn has forgiven me. I don’t know how she could, when I look at myself and I see this monster. Just trust me please.” Rachel says looking down at her feet in shame.

 

Santana stares dumbfounded at the girl in front of her. “I trust you. I don’t trust her. She cheated before, and I see how she looks at you from time to time. There is so much regret.” Santana forces out. She’s not used to being this open with anyone, and it’s killing her to be this vulnerable.

 

“Quinn’s regret is from the way she treated me in the past. She might have cheated but I’m not an innocent party. I went after someone who was taken. I didn’t let up even after I found out she was pregnant and I thought Finn was the baby’s father. When I discovered the truth, I didn’t hesitate in telling Finn just so I could break them up. I never thought of the consequences of my actions. I left her homeless because I needed to win at something. I knew he was going to kick her out and I didn’t care. I didn’t care that my actions not only affected Quinn, but an innocent life that did not ask to be involved in that mess. Whatever you or Quinn did to me pales in comparison because other than make my life more difficult, it never left me homeless and it never affected anyone directly other than me. No matter what I went through as a direct result of Quinn’s actions, I had no right to ruin her life the way I did. I knew what I was doing. I knew what would happen and I still went through with it. That’s inexcusable.

 

“I love you Santana, but I can’t go through another relationship where I’m not trusted. I could somewhat understand Jesse’s mistrust because he didn’t see the relationship between Quinn and I grow from nothing to what it is today. You’ve been part of it from the beginning. I’ve told you time and time again that Quinn is like a sister. I’ve given you no reason to think I’m lying. I’ve given no indication I want something romantic with Quinn, and you still think we’re lying. I cannot be with someone who doesn’t trust me. No matter how much I love you, without trust, our relationship will never survive. I’m sorry things have come to this.” Rachel says with tears streaming down her face. She reaches over and places a soft kiss on Santana’s cheek before she turns around and walks away.

 

Santana stares, unable to believe that she has just been dumped.

 

Rachel manages to stem the flow of tears and she quietly exits the empty classroom. She doesn’t even bother going to the choir room to tell the others she is skipping. She goes to her locker and starts to pack her things. She does her best to keep the tears at bay. She has never cried in the halls of William McKinley High School and she’s not about to start today, no matter how heartbroken she is. She pulls out her iPhone and sends Quinn a text after she slams her locker door shut.

 

**Skipping Glee. Change of plans also. May I stay at your place this weekend instead? – R**

 

Rachel stares at the screen of her iPhone and is glad that she won’t have to spend the entire weekend on her own.

 

Quinn’s phone chirps as she makes her way to the music room. She scrunches her eyebrows in confusion because Rachel was supposed to be staying with Santana over the weekend. She immediately fires back a reply.

 

**Silly Question. Of course you can stay at my place. Where are you? - Q**

 

“Crap!” Quinn mutters as she starts to pace the hallway, waiting for a reply.

 

**About to head home and pack. I’ll see you later. – R.**

 

Quinn reads the message and goes through her contact list and hits ‘connect’ the second she finds her mom’s number.

 

“Mom, change of plans. Rach will be staying over the weekend… I know, but I think she and Santana broke up… I know… I’m on my way to get her. We should be back in a few… Love you too Mom.” Quinn says and hits disconnect button as she shoves her phone in her pocket. She runs in to the choir room and whispers to Brittany that she might want to head over to Santana’s before she turns around and storms out of the room.

 

“Where are you going Quinn? Practice is about to start.” Will asks to the retreating figure of Quinn’s back.

 

“Something came up. Sorry Mr. Schue.” Quinn calls back without bothering to turn around or even slow down.

 

She’s gone before Will can manage to say or ask anything else. He is even more confused when Brittany leaves without uttering a single word. The only reason the others haven’t exploded in a gossip fest is because Will makes sure they do some actual rehearsing, even if they’re missing a third of their group.

  
  


TBC...

  
  



	3. Chapter 3

 

Chapter 3

 

Quinn is at the Berrys’ in record time. She looks at the place she considers her second home and reaches into her purse for the key she still has. She makes a beeline for Rachel’s room and doesn’t even bother to knock. She knows that this break up will definitely kill her spirit. The sight of Rachel curled up on her side and staring at the wall as she clutches a stuffed moose Santana had given her breaks Quinn’s heart.

 

Quinn has to suppress the urge to drive to the Lópezes’ and tear Santana a new one. It’s only her concern for Rachel that keeps her there. She wordlessly lies down on the bed with Rachel and pulls her into a hug. Quinn’s arms around her is all that takes for Rachel to lose what little composure she has and the girl just cries her heart out.

 

Eventually Rachel tells Quinn everything that happened and Quinn sighs. She’s really getting tired of this song and dance. When they make it to Quinn’s place, with a bit of coaxing, Rachel ends up taking a nap. She calls Michael letting him know she’s turning off the diva’s phone and that if they need to contact her, to call her house instead. She quickly explains why and reassures Michael that she will get to the bottom of things, and not to overreact because no matter what, Santana is in love with and loves Rachel. She then talks to her mom and after getting a promise that she will call if Rachel wakes up on her own, she grabs her purse and drives to Santana’s place.

 

Quinn rings the doorbell and waits. Victoria points Quinn towards the stairs and Santana’s room, only saying that Brittany is already there. Quinn smiles sadly and nods. She squares her shoulder and makes her way to her childhood friend’s room. When Quinn realises the bedroom isn’t locked, she just barges in.

 

“You’re being a first class idiot Santana.” Quinn says as calmly as she can. She knows that outright yelling won’t help.

 

Brittany and Santana whip their heads to face Quinn. Santana looks like she’s ready to hit Quinn. She only manages to control that urge because Quinn is pregnant and Rachel wouldn’t approve.

 

Brittany smiles weakly in greeting.

 

“What the fuck are you doing here? Come here to gloat that Rachel is a free agent and you can make your move?” Santana hisses once she feels somewhat in control.

 

“I’m going to ignore what you just said because of how ridiculous that claim is. I expect stupidity like that from a simpleton like Finn or an egomaniac like Jesse. You’ve seriously hurt Rachel with your accusations and actions. I’ve never seen her that defeated, not even after the egging. God knows I should be home in case she wakes up, but instead, I’m here hoping to talk some sense into you. That girl loves you. She’s in love with you. You’re her entire world.” Quinn says, fighting the urge to yell and scream obscenities.

 

“She sure has a funny way of showing me.” Santana replies sarcastically.

 

“In case she hasn’t told you, what you walked in on yesterday was Rachel giving me comfort after the bastard who calls himself my father said some really hurtful things to me and about the baby I’m carrying. He only left because he was arrested, otherwise you would have walked in on his little power trip. Why can’t you trust that we’re telling you the truth?” Quinn says throwing her hands in the air.

 

“San, tell her how you feel and why you feel this way.” Brittany says sadly. You keep this up and the only thing you’ll get is to push Rachel away for good. You know how loyal Rachel is with those she loves and how she’ll do anything she can to make us happy.” Brittany says.

 

“Then why does she keep hurting me by going to Quinn whenever she’s sad? Why can’t I be enough? Why does she go out of her way to make Quinn feel better while I’m left alone in the sidelines?” Santana asks near tears.

 

Both blondes look shocked at the very rare show of vulnerability Santana is displaying. Quinn feels a pang of guilt at those words, but at least it opens the door for the conversation they should have had a long time ago.

 

“Have you told her that? Up until now, I had no idea that’s how you feel. You’ve had no problem showing us your jealousy and anger, but you keep every other emotion locked up tighter than Fort Knox. That has to change.” Quinn says softly, as she places a hand on Santana’s shoulder. “I apologise for not thinking our closeness might hurt you. You should have said something.” Quinn adds.

 

“It hurts Rachel every time she has to do something that she knows will upset you, San. It kills her when she thinks she has to choose between her lover and the girl she considers her sister. It hurts her every time she has to leave Quinn when she knows Quinn needs her support because you need her as well. It hurts her to know that you feel she’s choosing Quinn over you because in her mind, there is no choice. You’re always the one that occupies her thoughts. Rachel feels like she betrayed Quinn by asking me to go with her to her doctor’s appointments. She only did that because she didn’t want you to feel sad and jealous. The guilt she carries when she sees Quinn upset over the adoption and not being able to offer her support all the time is eating her up. She told me she feels like she can’t do anything right because no matter what, you don’t trust her enough to talk honestly with her, and she feels like she’s letting Quinn down and breaking her promise each time she sees Q hurting and she can’t be there for her.” Brittany says out of the blue.

 

“But I need her too.” Santana admits for the first time ever. Both blondes fight the urge to pinch themselves.

 

“Have you told her that? Have you shown her that? You don’t make things easy for Rachel. She told me getting you to talk and be open about your feelings is like pulling teeth. She said that every time she tries to talk to you about this thing with Quinn you say it’s nothing and that she’s being paranoid and then you guys start to make out. When she tries to talk to you about your feelings or even her feelings, you start to make out with her. It’s not just her fault. You want Rachel to talk to you like she does with Quinn, then you have to listen to her, even when she says stuff you don’t like. And you have to talk to her about stuff you don’t like either. You can’t expect her to tell you everything when you don’t say anything in return.” Brittany says looking directly into Santana’s chocolate eyes.

 

“I show her I love her and I tell her all the time.” Santana manages to say.

 

“That you do. You shower her with attention, which basically has made her feel as if she is the centre of your universe. But intimacy isn’t achieved with grand romantic gestures alone. Those are great to show her you love her and you think of her. Britt is right. And just so you know, she doesn’t tell me everything. There are still a lot of things I don’t know about her. I had no idea she was aware of everything going on with you or that it was struggle to balance things out between us without hurting our feelings further. I would have told her to stop being silly and that I’m more than all right with Britt or my mom going to the doctor with me. I was so caught up in my all drama that I forgot to look at how things might be for you, and for that I’m sorry.” Quinn adds quietly, her hand still on Santana’s shoulder.

 

The words slam into Santana and she feels even worse. She had no idea Rachel was aware of everything she was feeling and she was acting against her desire to help a friend in need. She thought she was doing a good job hiding her jealousy and the reason behind it. It never occurred to her she has been emotionally closed with the diva. Santana honestly thought she was doing better. She can see Rachel’s eager eyes as she asks her if everything is okay and the flash of hurt whenever she dismissed the diva’s concerns. The guilt she normally feels when she thinks about the past torture she has put the diva through feels like a speck of dust compared to the crushing weight their words are causing right now.

 

“How do you know all this?” Quinn asks, feeling horrible that she has been one of the reasons for Rachel’s internal struggle. She smiles sadly at the fact that Rachel saw it fit to keep that from her in order to spare her feelings.

 

“I walked in on her during a free period earlier, and she was in the choir room singing some really sad songs. She was crying and I asked her what was going on and she told me.” Brittany answers just as soft. She then turns back to Santana. “I told you that if you weren’t ready to give Rachel what she needed to stay away from her. I know you love her, but love is supposed to make you all happy and tingly. Why do you insist Rachel and Quinn are lying to you?” Brittany asks.

 

“Have you seen how gentle Rachel is with Quinn? I’ve never seen her like that with anyone else.” Santana replies.

 

“Yes you have. She’s like that with me and she’s like that and more with you. Her eyes shine with love and her entire body hums with excitement whenever she’s near you. Her entire face lights up brighter than the sun whenever she sees you or we just mention your name. You and I are always walking around with linked pinkies, and you hug me and give me kisses on my cheek when I’m sad. You come to me to cheer me up when you find out I’m bummed out because someone called me names, even when you’re doing stuff with Rachel. You broke a date with her because I forgot I had a math test just to help me study. You hung out with me until my parents came home the other day when I lost my keys. I stay with you whenever my parents need to travel so I’m not alone, and I sleep in the same bed as you when that happens. Has Rachel ever asked you why or accused you that we’re still having sex or that I’m more important because you come to me whenever I need you?” Brittany counters.

 

“No, but it’s not the same. We’ve been friends since kindergarten. I told Rachel everything about us. How we used to be and how we no longer have sex since I realised I like her that way. She understands all that.” Santana says with a lump in her throat. She’s unable to meet Quinn or Brittany’s eyes.

 

“The hell it isn’t. And FYI, we also gave you every detail about our friendship, and we never slept together. There was never a shred of romantic interest between us. She trusts you. She knows that you wouldn’t betray her like that. Why can’t you? I asked her if she ever got jealous of the time you spend with Brittany. She told me no without hesitation. And the two of you have a very convoluted history of being best friends on top of being on and off casual lovers in the past. I’ve had my doubts and I shared them with Rachel. She told me that it’s not fair to judge you based on your past actions.” Quinn says.

 

Santana feels even worse. She can’t hold it in anymore and breaks down in tears. Finally understanding how her jealousy and paranoia has cost her the best relationship she has ever had. Until Brittany brought it up, it had never occurred to Santana how her friendship with the taller blonde might be taken. It makes Santana almost physically ill to realise that the girl who has every reason to doubt her has given Santana all her trust while she has spent their time together letting her jealousy consume her.

 

“What do I do? How do I fix this fuck up? Is it even fixable?” Santana asks through her sobs. Rachel’s words echoing in her head. When she feels Quinn’s baby bump brush against her side, she lifts her tear stained face to look at the shorter blonde. “I’m so sorry Q. I’ve been an idiot and a selfish bitch. I’ve let my insecurities and fear control how I feel and now they’ve cost me Rachel.” Santana says as she continues to cry her heartache. She finally buries her face in the crook of Quinn’s neck and holds on, wishing that it were Rachel’s arms pulling her closer and Rachel’s voice whispering sweet nothings to her.

 

“I’m glad you finally pulled your head out of your ass.” Quinn says.

 

“It’s too late now. Rachel hates me, and with good reason. I should have trusted her the way she trusts me. I’m such an idiot and a fuck up.” Santana says as fresh tears spill out of her eyes.

 

“Are you ready to give Rachel what she needs and deserves from you?” Brittany asks, getting to heart of the matter.

 

“Yes, but I think it’s too late. I wouldn’t blame her if she told me to jump off a cliff.” Santana says completely defeated.

 

“She will never hate you. I don’t think Rachel is capable of hating anyone. God knows she should hate us and the rest of Glee, but she doesn’t.” Quinn counters.

 

“You should sing her a song. Find one that let’s her know what you’re feeling and sing it to her. Then you admit you’ve been a poopy head.” Brittany says.

 

“Once you get her attention, and she’s willing to listen, you need to tell her everything that you’re feeling. Everything you’ve told Britt and me, you need to tell her. No matter how difficult it is, you can’t hold anything back.” Quinn adds.

 

“Say it without hurting her feelings. She’s not as strong as she looks. Words hurt her a lot.” Brittany says, feeling guilty about her own, though less harsh words to the diva.

 

Santana nods.

 

They spend the next half hour bouncing ideas on song choices before Santana thinks of the perfect one. They call Puck and recruit him to play guitar while Santana serenades Rachel during their next practice on Monday. Quinn leaves soon after, citing she wants to be present before Rachel wakes up. She admits she’s extremely surprised Judy hasn’t called her to let her know Rachel’s up. She promises Santana she’ll look after the diva and promises not to reveal anything about her plan for Monday.

 

Against her better judgement, Judy doesn’t force Rachel to go to school the following, and only because she knows there is no way the brunette would ever be able to pay attention in class. Rachel spends the entire day crying on Quinn’s bed. Santana wanders the halls like a zombie, with Quinn and Brittany glued to her side.

 

The weekend is spent with Quinn comforting and listening to the diva. The girl is a mere shadow of herself. She really wants to kick Santana’s ass for hurting her so much. She can understand strangers having doubts, but Santana should have trusted their word. Quinn likes to think that in a similar situation she would trust her partner. At least she hopes she would.

 

*** * ***

Santana and Puck practice the song through the entire weekend. Puck just stares at her as if she has grown a few extra heads. He never would have guessed in a million years that Santana would risk humiliation in order to serenade Rachel Berry of all people. He is tempted to say something about the rumours floating around but refrains when he sees the look of despair the Latina has. In all the years he has known her, Puck has never seen her looking so defeated. ‘She must truly be in love with her.’ Puck thinks to himself. Of course, the fact that he doesn’t want Santana beating the shit out of him helps him from asking stupid questions or making stupid comments about threesomes and foursomes (with him in a starring role). He’ll just keep those fantasies to himself.

 

*** * ***

When Monday rolls around, the entire school knows about the break up. They would have to be blind and deaf not to realise it. Santana and Rachel are both sad beyond belief. It’s the second day that Santana drags her feet looking completely lost. The aura of sadness and despair that surrounds both girls feels like a physical entity. Some even think they prefer to deal with a violent Santana, because although painful, it’s what’s expected and familiar. This defeated looking girl is just scary. They can’t help but wonder if they should be looking for signs of an oncoming apocalypse.

 

Quinn keeps her word and Rachel is left alone. Finn is sure he will have nightmares for days on end after some of the things Quinn threatened him with. Rachel, as heartbroken as she is, makes it painfully clear to him that badmouthing Santana is still unacceptable. It doesn’t help when Brittany adds her two cents on what she will do if he doesn’t stop pestering Rachel and insulting Santana. When he makes the mistake to confront Santana, he is lucky to end up only with a dislocated shoulder.

 

There is a huge sigh of relief when the final bell rings. The rest of the school (faculty included) hope that whatever happened between the two brunettes will get fixed soon because they don’t know how many more days of what transpired during the day they can all endure without going crazy.

 

Santana makes it to the choir room in record time with Brittany in tow. It doesn’t surprise the Latina when they’re the first ones there. She starts to pace, hoping for this to work. Slowly, the rest of the Gleeks arrive, with the exception Rachel. Even Quinn is there. The Latina throws Quinn a questioning look.

 

“She’ll be here. She never said she’s skipping.” Quinn says as Will walks in.

 

Will sighs when he notices that once again, Rachel isn’t around. If they ever want a shot of placing at Regionals, his best singer better start showing up.

 

Santana gets up to let Will know she is planning on serenading Rachel. Finn overhears and a look that is a mixture of a scowl and a pout appears in his face. Will immediately feels sorry for him.

 

“You can’t use this practice session to work on your personal issues. We need to think about our set list for Regionals, and I don’t think it would be a good idea…” Will starts to say as he looks on with understanding in Finn’s direction, but he’s quickly interrupted by Quinn.

 

“That’s not fair Mr. Schue. At least Santana is letting you know ahead of time what she’s planning on doing. You were all smiles when Puck sang ‘sweet caroline’ to Rachel. You congratulated the overgrown child, I mean Finn when he sang ‘jesse’s girl’ even though at the time Rachel was taken and dating someone and she was squirming uncomfortably. You even encouraged him to sing to her another stupid eighty’s power ballad when she was openly dating Santana. The only times you say something is when one of the girls tries to do something like that. You stop her, and I’ll go to Principal Figgins, then I’ll contact the ACLU myself to start a gender discrimination lawsuit in which you will be named personally.” Quinn says. She’s not sure how much more of this defeated, passive-aggressive Santana she can take.

 

Will looks at her as if she just told him the Easter Bunny is not real. The rest have similar expressions on their faces. It is clear Quinn has been hanging out with Rachel because it seems the diva’s tendency to ramble is contagious.

 

“You’re the one who is always encouraging us to express ourselves with music.” Brittany adds.

 

“I didn’t mean it like that Santana. I was thinking that we needed to devote all our time to Regionals, but, uh, one song won’t put us too far behind schedule.” Will says defeated as he throws a concerned look in Finn’s direction. He can’t argue any of the points Quinn and Brittany have made.

 

Puck smirks and gives the girls a ‘thumbs up’.

 

“Thanks Q.” Santana says, completely ignoring their director.

 

A well placed glare from Quinn stops anyone from commenting.

 

“Anytime S. I’ve got your back.” Quinn says with a smile. She truly hopes this will work because she is sure that if this keeps up, Glee won’t stand a chance.

 

They all look around nervously. It’s been fifteen minutes since the official start of Glee and there is still no sign of Rachel. Everyone is convinced the diva is skipping again. Will is about to start their new assignment when Rachel walks in. All eyes turn to her. Santana lets out a sigh of relief. Said relief soon turns to gut wrenching fear and regret once she sees the look on Rachel’s face.

 

“I apologise for my tardiness. Miss Pillsbury was a bit concerned about some personal issues I’m dealing with and decided a talk was necessary.” Rachel says as she joins Quinn in the front row.

 

Rachel wonders why Quinn has chosen the front instead of her usual spot in the back. She then sees Santana and Brittany in their usual spot and smiles sadly at Quinn’s understanding, loyalty, and thoughtfulness. Only problem is that she could be at the edge of the still expanding universe and she would still be sitting too close to Santana. She wants more than anything in the world to run to Santana, gather her in her arms and kiss her senseless. She wishes she could feel those arms surround her and bask in the feeling of safety she gets only when Santana is holding her and she’s nuzzling the Latina’s neck. She only restrains herself because she truly can’t see a future in their relationship if their trust isn’t mutual. It kills her to know she’s the one responsible for putting that defeated look on the usually confident and cocky Latina.

 

Rachel is brought back to reality and out of her head by the sounds of Puck’s acoustic guitar. Her eyes open wide when she sees Santana getting up and kneeling in front of her. She tries to place the tune. It’s definitely not something she has heard before. Rachel’s mouth drops open when she hears the first verse.

 

 _Si ahora te intento abrazar_ (if I try to hug you now)

 _sé que te separarás_ (I know that you’ll walk away)

 _si ahora te intento decir_ (If I try to say now)

 _cuanto lo siento, yo sé_ (how sorry I am, I know)

 _que no me escucharás_. (that you won’t listen to me)

 _Si ahora te tiendo mi mano_ (If I give you my hand now)

 _seguro que te asustaré_ (I’m sure that I’ll scare you away)

 _todo lo que puedo decir_ (all I that I can say)

 _es que te quiero y no quiero perderte_ (is that I love you and I don’t want to lose you)

 _no quiero perderte_. (I don’t want to lose you)

 _Ya sé que no te he dado_ (I know I haven’t given you)

 _lo que esperabas de mi_ (what you expected of me)

 _yo sé que no he sido_ (I know I haven’t been)

 _demasiado sutil_ (very subtle)

 _y que no he estado mucho tiempo junto a ti_ (and that I haven’t spent enough time by your side)

 _pero lo único que ahora puedo decir_ (but the only thing I can now say)

 _es que te quiero... de verdad lo siento_ (is that I love you… I’m truly sorry)

 _todo lo que puedo decir_ (all that I can say)

 _es que te quiero_ (is that I love you)

 _y que siento haberte hecho sufrir_. (and that I’m sorry I made you suffer).

 

By the time they reach the instrumental bridge, Rachel is crying openly.

 

Santana inches closer to Rachel and risks taking the diva’s hand. She smiles when Rachel doesn’t snatch her hand away. Feeling emboldened, Santana reaches for Rachel’s face with her free hand to wipe away the tears from the diva’s cheek. Santana nearly forgets how to breathe when Rachel closes her eyes and leans against her hand.

 

Everyone stares in confusion because they never expected a song in Spanish. Quinn smiles and whispers a translation to Brittany, causing the taller blonde to smile as well. Will stares as he makes a very good imitation of a fish out of water. Finn scowls at Rachel’s reaction and wishes he could understand the words coming out of Santana’s mouth.

 

 _Yo ya sé que no te he dado_ (I know already know I haven’t given you)

 _lo que esperabas de mi_ (what you expected of me)

 _yo sé que no he sido_ (and that I haven’t been)

 _demasiado sutil_ (very subtle)

 _y que no he estado mucho_ (and that I haven’t spent enough)

 _tiempo junto a ti_ (time by you)

 _pero lo único que ahora puedo decir_ (but the only thing that I can now say)

 _es que te quiero... cuanto lo siento_ (is that I love you… how sorry I am)

 _todo lo que puedo decir_ (all that I can say)

 _es que te quiero y_ (is that I love you and)

 _que siento haberte hecho sufrir_ (I’m sorry I made you suffer).

 

Santana’s sole focus is Rachel. Her voice lowers a bit at the odd positioning she finds herself in. She’s nearly whispering the song to Rachel now. Her heart fills with hope when Rachel doesn’t push her away, but actually places an arm to surround her shoulder and pulls her closer, resting their foreheads together. Santana remains kneeling as Puck plays the final notes on his guitar.

 

Rachel’s eyes are still closed. She’s completely lost in everything that is Santana. The feel of the hand in hers feels like a caress from angels. The feel of Santana’s other hand pressed so softly against her face makes her think this is what paradise is like. The very solid feel of Santana in her arms and Santana’s breath brushing against her ear has Rachel feeling alive for the first time in days.

 

Both girls are so lost in each other’s touch that they fail to notice Quinn and Brittany start to usher everyone out of the choir room.

 

“All right, you pervs. Everyone out. This is a private moment.” Quinn says with authority, snapping everyone out of their shock.

 

“You heard Quinn. Give San and Rach time alone to work this out.” Brittany adds as she starts to physically shove people out of the door.

 

“You can’t do this. We’re supposed to be rehearsing for Regionals. It’s not our fault they brought the soap opera for us to see.” Mercedes starts to protest. There is no way she is going to miss this. She shuts her mouth when she sees the look on Brittany’s face.

 

“We don’t know who is doing the solos and we don’t even have a tentative list of songs to choose from. Stop being so nosy and get the hell out.” Quinn says a bit louder now, her patience starting to wear thin.

 

“Which is why we can’t waste time.” Kurt says, smiling smugly.

 

“Put a lid on it, Kurt. We both know you just want to see what unfolds between those two. A few more minutes or even a few more days won’t make a difference.” Quinn snaps right back.

 

Mr. Schue do something.” Kurt pleads, not wanting to miss any of the drama.

 

“You can’t expect us to cut our practice short just because Santana and Rachel chose a public setting to work on their problems. If they want privacy, then I’ll excuse them from the room.” Will says as he tries to look over to the two brunettes. “You don’t have the authority to dismiss practice early, even if you are the team’s co-captain. As the club’s faculty advisor and director I have final say in this.” Will says with as much authority as he can muster.

 

Brittany follows his line of sight and smirks. She sends a wink Quinn’s way and then turns to face Will with a sickeningly sweet smile. Everyone’s attention all of a sudden lands on the lanky blonde.

 

“I had no idea you were such a voyeur, Mr Schue. I get it. No one can really blame you for enjoying the show. They’re hot together just hugging. You should see it when they kiss, especially when their hands start to roam and find naughty places. Just thinking about it gets me all tingly. One time San had Rach pressed against a wall. Rach had one her very long and sexy legs wrapped around Santana’s hips. They were both making these noises and…” Brittany says in a dreamy voice before she’s interrupted.

 

Ten seconds later, the choir room is cleared.

 

Quinn has to bite the inside of her cheek to keep herself from laughing out loud. She stands in front of the door to prevent the others from spying on the two brunettes. The others are grumbling in protest as they wait outside in the hallway. Will mumbles to himself, a very distinct blush in his face.

 

*** * ***

“I’ve been acting like a complete idiot. I know I don’t deserve it, but I’m begging you to give me another chance to prove myself. I finally understand. I love you Rachel. I will do anything you want if you give me another chance. I’ll personally move Quinn back to your place if that’s what you both want, or drive you to her place if you so much as think she needs you there or if you need her support for anything. I finally get it.” Santana whispers into Rachel’s ear.

 

Santana’s words snap Rachel out of her thoughts. She opens her eyes and her breath hitches at the mixture of love, hope, and despair on Santana’s face. She wants more than anything to pull Santana close to her, kiss those lips she has become addicted to and assure her that everything is all right. Instead, she fights the urge and lets out a sigh. If they are going to make it work, they need to talk about everything that has happened. She gets up and starts pacing slowly.

 

“Why do you have such a hard time trusting me? The way Quinn and I interact hasn’t changed since we’ve become friends. Do you think that I was cheating on Jesse with Quinn? Do you think I lied to you even then, when I had no reason to lie to you about my relationship with Quinn?” Rachel asks.

 

Santana looks at Rachel as she thinks back from that first moment on the bus ride back from Sectionals. Even then, Rachel was very tactile with Quinn. There were hugs, soft caresses, and hand holding mixed with their tears. As their friendship got deeper, the physical touches became more frequent and lasted longer. Looking back, Santana can honestly see that Rachel has been like that with Brittany as well. So long as the recipient doesn’t take it the wrong way or pushes Rachel away, the diva is very tactile. She knows that Rachel’s relationship with Jesse was doomed the moment the boy demanded Rachel change and stay away from Quinn. She can’t believe she tried to pull the same stunt. Then of course, there is Brittany. They had remained best friends. The only thing that changed between them was the fact that they no longer had sex. Rachel never questioned her faithfulness or honesty. If anyone should have felt insecure, it should have been Rachel. Yet, the little diva just smiled and said “I believe you. I trust you” the one time the topic was brought up. The realisation only makes her feel worse, something she wasn’t sure was possible.

 

“I’m a first class moron and a paranoid bitch. People were talking behind my back and saying how whipped I am because you were cheating right under my nose and I was pathetic for letting it happen. My reputation as a badass was in put in question and I let my pride get in the way. I hated how everyone could see how close you and Quinn are, and I started to believe what the morons were staying. I know it’s stupid and it’s no excuse for my shitty, err, crappy behaviour. At times, it felt like you were choosing Quinn over me. Like you trust her more than you trust me. It hurts that she knows you better. It hurts that you know exactly what to say to her when she’s sad. It feels like my heart is being ripped out because she knows just what to do to make you smile. It’s almost like you can anticipate each other’s moods. I want that for us and only us. I never realised that it’s the same between me and B. We can predict each other’s mood as well. I didn’t realise I was still keeping you out. I thought I was helping by not talking about my jealousy issues; instead, I was just pushing you away. I’m really sorry _Mi Cielo_.” Santana answers, never once looking away. Something that is extremely hard since her first instinct is to look down in shame. When she sees the understanding in Rachel’s cinnamon coloured eyes, she wants to kick herself for being so stupid.

 

“I’m sorry it feels as if I’m always seeking Quinn. I only go to her when it’s something related to Shelby. I don’t do it on purpose and it’s never my intention to hurt you. It’s just that she is the only one that knows how I feel because she’s trying to reconnect with Judy. She might have grown up with Judy in her life, but it wasn’t the same as it is now because that bastard was too controlling. I know that I’m very close to Quinn, but there is no comparison between the two of you because my relationship with you is completely different from my relationship with her. My heart rate doesn’t speed up when I see her. It picks up when I think of you. It skyrockets when I see you. It feels like my heart will bet out of chest when you touch me. I find her touch soothing, but I never crave it. I crave you. I crave the feel of your lips. Your touch sets my entire body, heart, and soul on fire. As cliché as it sounds, when I’m your arms, I’m home. I only feel this way with you.” Rachel says softly as she stands close enough to invade Santana’s personal space. She grabs and places one of Santana’s hands over her chest.

 

“Not with Finnessa, Puck or St. Jerkwad?” Santana asks.

 

“Only with you.” Rachel repeats.

 

“There are rumours about me and B as well. How did that not affect you or your trust in me? After all we have a history of fooling around.” Santana asks.

 

“I know you wouldn’t do anything to betray me like that. I know you would never hurt me on purpose. The imbeciles that roam our school can talk all they want, but the truth is, they don’t know us. Their words are bothersome, but it’s not any worse than what I’ve been used to from them. For as long as I remember, there have been rumours concerning me, so I’ve become very adept at ignoring them.” Rachel replies with a small shrug.

 

“I’m sorry I was ever part of that. I’m sorry I pushed you away. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about my feelings right away. I love you _Preciosa_. You’re everything to me and I promise you that I’m going to start showing you every moment I can. I’m sorry that I let the rumours get to me. I’m sorry I ever doubted you.” Santana says softly, hand still on Rachel’s chest.

 

“What happens now?” Rachel asks. “How do I know this won’t happen again the next time rumours start to get really bad? I don’t want to stop being friends with Quinn because you’re insecure about it. I don’t want to resent you. I know you won’t cheat on me. How do I know you’ll believe me when I say I won’t ever cheat on you? How do I know that this time you’ll really trust me?” Rachel says after a moment of silence.

 

Santana feels as if someone has punched her again. She closes her eyes as she feels the tears she’s been trying to hold back start to fall. “I guess you really don’t. All I can say is that this time is different because I finally understand. Your friendship with Quinn is like mine with Brittany. I finally see that. I know I don’t have a right to ask, but I’m begging you to give me a chance to prove it to you.” Santana says pleading openly.

 

Rachel looks at the Latina. She knows she should be more cautious, but if Santana can see the parallels between their respective friendships, then she’ll be the eternal optimist and accept the Latina for her word. She wordlessly takes a step closer and cradles Santana’s face with her hands. She wipes the tears with the pads of her thumbs and then reaches to place barely there kisses on the taller brunette’s cheeks. When she feels arms snake around her waist, Rachel leans in and kisses Santana’s lips. Slowly, the kiss deepens and Rachel’s hands move so that one of them is nestled behind Santana’s neck while the other continues to cradle her face.

 

Santana is so relieved that she forgoes the usual play for dominance and is content to let Rachel dictate the kiss. They finally pull apart when air becomes an issue.

 

“I love you Rachel.” Santana whispers to the diva’s lips.

 

“I love you too Santana. I’m so in love with you. I trust you completely, body mind and soul. If you really can’t give me the trust I deserve, then tell me now because I don’t think I can take what happened over the weekend a second time.” Rachel pleads.

 

“I’m not stupid enough to make you promises I can’t keep. If a situation arises that’ll have me jealous I promise that I’ll talk to you first. I promise you that I’ll never let things get to this point again. I’ll work on opening up to you the way you deserve. I won’t be able to deal with a weekend like last either, _Mi Reina_. You are my everything. I don’t know how to be me without you.” Santana says as she reaches down to kiss Rachel again. Her entire body relaxes once she feels Rachel press herself impossibly closer. “I know it’s no excuse, but before you, I had never really had a relationship. Not even with B. We were just best friends who hooked up to scratch an itch. Puck was like a possession. Finn was me following orders to make Head Cheerio and to get Coach off our backs. Next time I start acting like a cave woman, hit me upside the head.” Santana adds.

 

“You know I hate violence, but I’ll have Quinn whack you upside the head if it’s needed.” Rachel says with a small smile, making Santana giggle. They gravitate closer until their lips come together in another soul scorching, earthquake inducing kiss. They only jump apart when Santana’s back hits the piano and they’re brought back to reality.

 

“Oh crap!” Rachel exclaims as they reluctantly pull apart, expecting to see the rest of their teammates and Will staring at them.

 

They are both surprised and definitely relieved when they realise that they are alone.

 

“When did everyone leave?” Santana asks.

 

“I have no idea. I was kind of distracted by my girlfriend.” Rachel answers.

 

Santana’s face breaks into a huge grin at those words. “You mean that? I’m your girlfriend again?” She asks for confirmation, even if seconds ago they were kissing passionately. The air of vulnerability not escaping either girl.

 

“Yes.” Rachel says simply as she leans closer to place a chaste kiss on Santana’s lips.

 

Rachel smiles when she sees two blonde heads blocking the small window pane on the door. They walk towards the door hand in hand to open it and let the others back in.

 

“It’s about time!” Kurt exclaims the moment the door is flung open. Whatever else he is about to say dies in his throat at the looks he sees on Quinn and Brittany.

 

The rest are dying to know what took place, because by the looks of the brunettes’ joined hands, things are once again well between them. Even Finn restrains himself from making any comments about the situation. Everyone files back into the music room and once again take their usual places.

 

“Everything ok?” Quinn asks her friends with a smile as she settles on her usual spot by Rachel. She can see things are better, but she needs the verbal confirmation.

 

“Yes. Thanks Quinnie.” Rachel says with a smile of her own.

 

“Don’t hold back _Mi Reina_.” Santana whispers into the diva’s ear. “I mean it, _Preciosa_. She and B were the ones who finally talked some much needed sense into me.” She adds once she sees a bit of doubt lingering on Rachel’s face.

 

Rachel smiles and gives Santana a peck on the lips before she pulls her hand apart and turns to face Quinn.

 

“When did you talk to Santana? Did you know Santana planned the song?” Rachel asks, ignoring whatever Will is saying.

 

“I went to Santana’s on Thursday after you were asleep ready to rip her a new one. We talked, and she finally saw she was acting like an idiot. And yes, I knew about the song. Britt came up with the serenade idea. We were so afraid you’d skipped Glee again when you were late.” Quinn says with a smile now.

 

“I considered it, but we really need to get ready for Regionals.” Rachel admits. “Did you have anything to do with the room being empty?” Rachel asks, knowing that the gossipmongers would never give them privacy unless their lives depended on it. A hormonal Quinn Fabray after you is definitely a life and death situation.

 

“Kinda. I started to get the others out, but Britt jumped in when Mr. Schue started to protest…” Quinn says as she explains what happened and what Brittany had said.

 

The other gleeks notice the two girls talking and as one, they turn to face the girls in the last row. Will sighs defeated and slumps on the piano bench.

 

Rachel knows that all eyes are on them, but she can’t be bothered to care. She pulls the shorter blonde to her in a hug. She then caresses Quinn’s cheek with the back of her fingers before she turns her hand and cups her cheeks gently. She leans in further and kisses the other cheek. “Thank you for all your support Quinnie. I would have never been able to get through this weekend without you.” Rachel says with a sincere smile.

 

The rest of the room waits for the fireworks to start again, and they nearly fall off their chairs when Santana remains seated and talking quietly with Brittany, an actual smile on her face.

 

Rachel gives Quinn’s face one final caress and then she is up and headed to where Brittany is seated on Santana’s other side. She smiles lovingly at Santana before pecking her lips (she has an entire weekend of kisses to make up for). She kneels down on the floor as she takes Brittany’s hand and laces their fingers together.

 

“Thank you for all your support and help Britt. I owe you and Quinn more than words can say.” Rachel whispers as she kisses the back of taller blonde’s hand.

 

“You’re welcome Rach.” Brittany says smiling widely as she pulls Rachel for a hug, causing the smaller girl to tumble onto her lap, letting out a squeak of surprise.

 

By now, the others have stopped pretending to listen to Will, not that a single one of them has noticed their choir director has stopped talking. Their attention is fixed on the four girls. They’re thoroughly disappointed by the lack of drama when Rachel gets up and retakes her place beside Santana. The Latina turns around and rearranges their chairs so they’re sitting as humanly close as possible, with Santana’s arm snaked protectively around the diva’s shoulder. If Rachel weren’t the consummate professional that she is, Santana would pull the diva to sit on her lap. Brittany takes the opportunity to get up, walk around, and sit by Quinn’s other side.

 

Will sighs again but says nothing to reprimand the girls. He picks up where he left off, and continues to ramble on about song choices and possible candidates for solos in their quest of finding a replacement set list for Regionals. He nearly screams his frustration when he notices no one is really paying attention to him. Not even Rachel, as said girl is currently completely lost as she plays with Santana’s fingers. He ends up dismissing them right away. He should have just dismissed them the second Santana started singing to Rachel.

 

*** * ***

By the time homeroom starts the following day, everyone in McKinley knows Rachel and Santana are back together. By the end of the day, due to Santana’s explosive temper, Quinn’s mood swings, and Brittany’s open threat of bodily harm, the entire student body knows better than to let rumours about the diva and the former cheerleading captain fly. Quinn personally threatens Jewfro to within an inch of his life when she sees him hovering around Rachel’s locker with what looks like a flipcam. Rachel knows she should say something to her friends, but it’s nice to have a reprieve of not only slushies, but of being the sole subject of the rumours floating the hallways. She turns a blind eye when she sees Santana ‘accidentally’ knee some jock in the groin.

 

“What? I tripped.” Santana says when Rachel catches up to her with a raised eyebrow.

 

Rachel smiles and wraps her arm around Santana’s waist and kisses her lightly. “At least he was kind enough break your fall.” She says with a smile.

 

When they meet again for Glee the following Thursday, even the Gleeks know better than to speculate about Rachel and her friendship with Quinn. It seems a slushie shower really does wonders when it comes to keeping people’s mouths shut. Surprisingly enough, when Will announces that Rachel and Finn will be singing the solos for their first song, no one makes a sound of protest. The second song will be an ensemble number, with Rachel, Finn, Santana, and Puck sharing the solos.

 

*** * ***

Santana and Rachel’s relationship is in an all time high. True to her word, Santana really managed to understand the bond between Rachel and Quinn. Santana opens up to Rachel more and more with each passing day. They are inseparable, unless it happens to be ‘best friend’ time to be spent with Brittany and Quinn.

 

The only damper is when they are rehearsing for Regionals. Finn can’t keep his hands to himself and is always pushing his luck. If he isn’t badmouthing Santana constantly, he’s making disparaging remarks about Rachel’s relationship with Santana, or openly flirting with Rachel. It takes all of Santana’s self control not to kill him. She only stops because they need him for competition. When Rachel’s complaints about Finn’s wandering hands are completely ignored and to the surprise of everyone, justified by Will, Rachel does the impossible and gives up the solos. Mercedes instantly jumps at the chance to nab it before Rachel changes her mind or anyone has a chance to say anything.

 

By the first run through, it is clear Mercedes doesn’t have Rachel’s control and more often than not, she drowns out Finn’s voice during the harmonies. The solo is given to Tina. Although she doesn’t drown him out, there is absolutely no chemistry between them. Quinn and Santana refuse to sing with Finn which in a way is a blessing in disguise because Rachel is convinced that either one of the girls would lunge and strangle the boy and call it an accidental slip of their hands. She can’t help but giggle at the mental image. When Will tries to give the solo to Brittany she says something about being a dancer and suggests giving the solo back to Rachel, but giving Finn’s parts to someone else. Finn automatically protests, saying it isn’t fair that he is getting punished just because Rachel can’t be put her personal feelings aside for the good of the group. When Will agrees with Finn’s statement all hell breaks loose. The only reason Santana isn’t maiming them is because Rachel is currently holding the Latina in her arms as she whispers soothingly in her ear. They leave the choir room without saying a word.

 

“How can you side with Finn, Mr. Schue? Rachel has been nothing but professional every time she’s here. Finn’s the one that kept copping a feel every change he got.” Quinn says.

 

“He’s acting the song for the sake of the performance.” Will says in a condescending tone.

 

“No, he’s not. He looks at Rachel the way most Cheerios stare at a piece of gooey chocolate cake topped with a giant scoop of vanilla ice cream, drizzled in raspberry sauce. Are you telling me that the choreography calls for his hands to be firmly planted on Rachel’s ass, or for his hands to grace the underside of her breasts whenever he is supposed to reach for her hands to spin her around?” Quinn says with disgust.

 

“I’m sure they were accidental slips.” Will starts to say, but stops at the look he gets from Quinn. He had no idea Finn had been doing that at all. He really thought Rachel was exaggerating when she had complained.

 

“Right, because I accidentally touch Puck’s privates every time he spins me around. You didn’t see him ‘acting out’ the song when he was singing with Mercedes or Tina, did you? He sang with the passion of a wooden board and you didn’t call him on it.” Quinn replies. “Rachel has made it very clear she’s not interested in him and that she’s happy with Santana. He’s always insulting Santana and making lewd comments to Rachel. He’s worse than Puck, and that’s saying something. He uses Glee as an excuse to touch Rachel in inappropriate places because you look the other way, or you justify it. You’re always giving him especial treatment and you ignore everything improper he does. You’re always making excuses for his tantrums. For once, do the right thing and think about what’s best for us as a team instead of what’s best for Finn. We’ve all experienced heartbreak, and we’ve all had an unrequited crush, but we know the meaning of the word ‘no’. Would you be making the same excuses if it was Coach Tanaka copping a feel of Miss Pillsbury every chance he got?” Quinn says with so much anger that she has her hands clenched in tight fists, shocking everyone in the room.

 

“That’s enough Quinn! I’m your teacher and you will treat me with respect. You say another word and we’ll be having this talk in Principal Figgins’ office.” Will says in a low voice.

 

“Let’s go right now. Maybe then you can explain why you’ve done nothing when one of your under aged female students has made it perfectly clear how uncomfortable she has been with the unwanted advances of another student. Or why Rachel had to take matters in her own hands and give up her solo and risk our chances of placing just to stop him from pawing her. Perhaps you can even explain why you’ve been excusing Finn’s horrible behaviour time and time again and that you’ve been justifying what can only be construed as sexual harassment for two weeks when you should have put a stop to it the second Rachel came to you for help. Maybe having Coach as our co-director isn’t such a bad idea after all. She might be harsh and mean, but she’s harsh and mean with everyone without exception.” Quinn challenges, not backing down at all.

 

Everyone’s jaws, with the exception of Brittany, open and hit the floor almost literally. They think that Quinn has finally lost it, which in their heads explains why she’s such good friends with Rachel.

 

“It’s not as bad as you make it sound…” Finn starts to defend himself only to come face to face with a fuming Quinn.

 

“Not as bad! Rachel, the girl who demands every single solo, actually gave up the leads in one of our most important competitions because you don’t know the meaning of the word ‘no’. The only reason you’re not dead is because Rachel has managed to keep Santana from killing you.” Quinn spits out.

 

“That just shows that she cares about me, but she’s too afraid of Santana to dump her and be with me.” Finn says immediately.

 

“You’re delusional. Rachel has been doing it to protect Santana, in order to keep her from getting suspended or expelled. Or worse yet, from ending up in jail with a murder charge because Santana is that close from ripping your head off and shoving it up your ass.” Quinn says with her index finger and thumb nearly touching. “If you’re having problems following what I’m saying, maybe Mr. Schue can dumb it down for you or draw you diagrams. I promise you that if you don’t back down I’ll personally escort Rachel to the police so she can file criminal charges against you.” Quinn hisses. She then turns to face Will.

 

“Do you see what your inaction has caused? He believes Rachel wants to be with him when she, along with most of us, has made it very clear she loves and is in love with Santana. What is it going to take? For him to get violent and physically hurt my best friends because Rachel keeps refusing his advances? Or maybe have him rape Rachel in his delusional state thinking she actually wants him romantically.” Quinn says in the same menacing tone of voice as before.

 

Will continues to stare at the former Head Cheerio in shock, her words slowly sinking in.

 

“You said it yourself Mr. Schue. You’re our teacher. Why aren’t you doing your job when it comes to Rachel? Finn only does this here because every other teacher won’t allow his tantrums. He knows you won’t let Santana, Quinn or me hurt him. He knows you’ll say it’s okay to act like a stalker because that’s how you are with Miss Pillsbury. Every time you let him get away with this, you’re telling us it’s okay to cheat. You’re telling us that when someone says ‘no’ they don’t really mean it.” Brittany says, shocking everyone further.

 

Will shakes his head and stares at Finn, noticing his pleading eyes. Has he really been that blind to the situation? Has he let his personal issues cloud his judgement so much? The fact that he has to even question himself like that lets him know that yes, he has been that blind. The realisation has makes him physically ill. He can taste his own bile as she swallows the urge to vomit.

 

“Finn, until further notice, you will no longer share any leads with Rachel. Any solos with Rachel be given to others in the team. We’ll hold auditions to determine who will sing what.” Will says as he lifts his hand to stop whatever protest from leaving Finn’s mouth. He then turns to face Quinn. “Quinn, in the future, watch your tone of voice. Any other teacher would have sent you to see the principal.” He says only to be interrupted by Quinn.

 

“Any other teacher wouldn’t have allowed the situation to get to where it is now, Mr. Schue.” Quinn replies.

 

The words feel like slap. He is about to say something else when he sees a few of the others nod in agreement. “I honestly didn’t realise that was going on.” He says looking ashamed. He dismisses everyone right after.

 

Everyone leaves the music room in a daze except for Finn.

 

“Quinn’s just saying that to get back at me for kicking her out. Rachel is confused because they keep saying bad things about me.” Finn says lamely.

 

Will thinks back to the tumultuous relationship between Finn and Rachel and replays each run through of their musical numbers and he has to swallow the rising bile again, at what he has allowed the boy to get away with.

 

“Rachel is happy with Santana. You had your chance with her and it didn’t work out. I really thought they were accidental slips every time she complained, but thinking back, you have done and said some really inappropriate things to Santana and Rachel. You’re really lucky Rachel hasn’t gone to Principal Figgins to file a formal complaint and that she hasn’t gone to the police to charge you with sexual harassment. Stop it now.” Will says in a stern voice, shocking Finn. ‘I’m very lucky I still have my job for allowing that to happen right in front of me.’ He thinks to himself.

 

“But Mr. Schue…” Finn starts to plead his case again, only to be interrupted again.

 

“No buts Finn. You continue to harass them and I will go to the principal myself.” Will says in no uncertain terms. “Have your mother call me when you get home. Believe me, you don’t want me to be the one calling her.” Will adds once he sees Finn’s belligerent look.

 

“Yes, Mr. Schue.” Finn finally replies when he notices that Will means business.

 

Finn considers ignoring Will’s request, but eventually tells his mom that she needs to call Will. When he’s asked why, he plays dumb, claiming that it’s probably some silly misunderstanding before he flees to his room.

 

By the time Carole is done speaking with Will, she’s ready to kill Finn herself.

 

“Not a word from you. Just listen. You’re grounded until further notice. Either Burt or myself will drop you off at school and pick you up. On the days you have Glee or football practice, I’ll have your coaches text one of us so we know when to pick you up. There will be no parties, no TV and no video games. During school hours, you will not approach Rachel or Santana. I know I can’t do anything about your shared classes, but I so much as hear a word of complain from that girl or Mr. Schuester and you will be sent away to military school. When a girl says ‘no’, you will back down. My son will not be some sleaze ball who doesn’t know the meaning of the word ‘no’.” Carole says.

 

“But Mom…” Finn starts to say, but shuts his mouth at the look on Carole’s face.

 

“I thought I raised you to be a gentleman and to be respectful of women. I know I could have spent more time with you, but I needed to work. I never thought I’d ever say this to you, but I’m very disappointed in you. I don’t want to hear excuses Finn. You should have left Rachel alone the moment she said no.” Carole says before she leaves his room.

 

TBC...


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

 

Santana and Rachel are cuddling on the diva’s bed, glad to be away from the drama that they call Glee Club.

 

“You know, you shoulda just let me smack him around a couple of times. Maybe then he’ll learn to treat a lady properly.” Santana says as she plays with a few strands of Rachel’s hair.

 

“No. I hate his grubby paws even more than you do, and God knows he deserves it, but I’m not about to risk having you suspended for fighting or having him taunt you to the point where you’ll get in serious trouble for hurting him. Or even worse, have him hurt you. I hate to do this, but I’ll probably go to see Mr. Figgins if he doesn’t stop.” Rachel says softly.

 

“Why have you waited so long? Why are you hesitating even now?” Santana asks.

 

“I might not like him very much, but I don’t want to ruin his entire future because he’s acting like an immature jerk.” Rachel says as she plays with the fingers of Santana’s free hand.

 

“I’d say you’re too nice and too forgiving, but if it wasn’t for that, you and I wouldn’t be together right now.” Santana says softly in a voice that is a mix of sadness and extreme regret.

 

“Baby, I’ve forgiven you. Please let it go. I have. I love you.” Rachel says as she shifts to face Santana before reaching up and giving the girl a kiss full of hope.

 

“I love you too, _Preciosa_. So much that it hurts when you’re not with me.” Santana says after they pull apart. “Oh, since you’re not staying with Quinn, _Mami_ wants you to come and stay with us tomorrow night ‘cause she doesn’t want you here alone.” Santana adds as she resumes playing with Rachel’s hair.

 

“How did she know? Never mind. I keep forgetting our Dad and Alberto work in the same place. You know it wouldn’t be the first time I have to stay by myself, right? Besides, Dad’ll still be in Lima.” Rachel says with a slight shake of her head and a fond smile. It feels so odd having people outside of her immediate family care so much about her.

 

“That’s not the point. Something could happen and no one would know. I’d spend the whole night worried.” Santana answers. “How come you’re not staying with Quinn? Everything okay?” Santana asks frowning.

 

“Everything is great. Quinn’s sister is finally facing the fact that she has been a complete and total witch. She decided to drop in at the last minute so they can repair their relationship. Much to Quinn’s displeasure, I decided I didn’t want to make things more awkward than they have to be.” Rachel answers as she starts to trace patterns on the back of Santana’s hand.

 

“You can’t even say Taylor’s name without getting angry, can you?” Santana asks with a chuckle.

 

“If I call her by name I acknowledge her existence, and I’ll end up saying things that are very un-lady like. She’s done and said things that have hurt Quinn deeply. Should I stay at her place as planned I would ruin any chances of reconciliation, and as much as I dislike the woman, I don’t know her from Adam so I’m staying out and only stepping in if Quinn is hurt further. Quinn wants to make this work and this time, Judy is on her side.” Rachel answers.

 

“We’re so lucky to have you in our lives.” Santana says as she lets her hand move from Rachel’s hair to caress the side of the diva’s face.

 

“Thank you.” Rachel says softly as she grabs Santana’s hand to place kisses on each finger.

 

“Whatever are you thanking me for? _Mami_ adores you and, I get to sleep in the same bed with you. I should be the one thanking you.” Santana answers with a sappy grin.

 

“Well, yeah, thanks for that as well, but it was more for keeping your word to me. You really trust me. It’s a nice feeling.” Rachel replies. “Oh, you’re going to have to drive me to my voice lesson after school since I’m staying with you.” Rachel adds.

 

“I should have believed you right away. And of course I’ll drive you to your voice lesson. Do I have to make a detour to pick Quinn up?” Santana says still smiling like a fool.

 

“No. Judy is taking care of that.” Rachel answers.

 

“Is Quinn still thinking about adoption for the baby? I know Puck keeps pushing to keep her. I’m glad you hit him after he sang ‘Beth’.” Santana says in an edgier tone, not at all happy with the boy.

 

“Noah deserved it. Yes. We’ve been discussing the merits of open adoptions versus closed ones…” Rachel starts to say, only to be interrupted by two soft fingers pressed against her lips.

 

“Are you sure it’s ok for you to be talking to me about this?” Santana asks quietly. She knows that even with their friendship back to normal, there are still topics that Quinn will only discuss with Rachel.

 

“The only reason Quinn doesn’t bring this up is because it’s too painful. She’s fallen in love with the baby and it’s killing her that the best thing she can do is to give her a proper home with a mother that isn’t a child herself. Mom is thinking of adopting the baby. She said she is planning on taking at least a year off from teaching. As a bonus, the same mistakes wouldn’t be repeated by keeping Quinn away from the baby if she wanted to stay in touch.” Rachel says.

 

“Are you ok with that?” Santana asks.

 

“Yes. We have both accepted that there is nothing we can do about the lost time. We’re making a lot progress.” Rachel answers.

 

“Are you okay with the fact that you’ll be sharing your mom with a new baby?” Santana asks again. She can see the undercurrent of pain in _**her**_ Rachel’s eyes.

 

Rachel looks at Santana and smiles sadly. “For the most part, I am. It’s a strange situation because I was never hers to keep. It’ll be odd, but I’ll get used to it. I have no right to feel jealous or slighted. It’s not like I grew up in a broken home. I grew up with two loving parents, who just happen to be gay men. I always thought I was missing something for not having a mom, but in reality, you can’t miss something you’ve never had. I’m glad I get the chance to know the woman who was kind enough to do be a surrogate for my dads and I finally get a female perspective on things. In the end it all works out.” Rachel says.

 

“You’re really are something else. I’ve never met anyone who can so easily see the best in everyone, no matter how shitty we’ve treated you.” Santana says with adoration before she shifts their positions so that Rachel is now lying on top of her. Soon, she claims Rachel’s lips with hers, and once again, their tongues come out to play.

 

“I love you.” Rachel says breathless as she lays her head on top of Santana’s chest. “I love the sound of your heart. It’s very soothing. I swear that it beats in rhythm with mine.” Rachel adds as she shifts her body slightly so she can pull one of Santana’s hands over her chest. “Can you feel what you do to me? Right now, our hearts are beating in counterpoint, trying to harmonise together. It’s like they’re singing their own duet.” She continues.

 

Santana smiles like a fool at those words, but once she feels the cadence of Rachel’s heart beating hard against her palm, she can’t help but nod in agreement.

 

“All I ever wanted was for you to trust me and open up to me. I was feeling left out whenever you’d go to Quinn first. I know I should’ve been less of a bitch and be more approachable. I was too stupid and too worried about my reputation. I hated that Quinn managed to say and do all the things I wanted but I didn’t know how to. It’s been so long that I really didn’t know how to open myself up. I always thought that sharing my feelings was a way to give ammo to others to use against me. I was being so selfish. I wanted your undivided attention on me and your complete trust, but I wasn’t willing to give that back. I’m not used to giving comfort and be all touchy feely but I’m learning how with you. You bring out the best in me.” Santana says, pulling Rachel impossibly closer to her.

 

“You’re doing great. I love this side of you. I love that I’m the only who gets to experience it. It makes me feel so special. I always feel loved and protected when I’m with you. What happened? Who hurt you so bad that you felt you needed to retreat to yourself like that? Who do I have hurt for hurting you?” Rachel asks while she traces random patterns on Santana’s shoulder and collarbone.

 

Santana sighs. This is all part of the relationship. Opening to each other and not holding back. It surprises her that she doesn’t have to force herself to do so. She looks at the girl draped on top of her and tightens her arms a little bit more, trying to sort out and put her thoughts in order. She doesn’t want to just blurt things out and then have _**her**_ angel going in a rampage in order to defend her honour, even if the thought makes her feel loved and appreciated and extremely turned on.

 

“I got made fun of a lot for it. I look like an obvious foreigner. It never mattered that I spoke without a hint of an accent, or that I was born here. All they saw was the Hispanic girl. I was called all sort of derogatory names depicting my race, and when some of them saw how much comfort I got when B would hug me, they added words like ‘lesbo’ and ‘dyke’ to their list of insults. One day it got to be a bit much so I beat one of the bullies to a pulp. I got in trouble, but I didn’t care. I saw how others started to hesitate with their taunting. I connected the dots, and I haven’t stopped since then.” Santana says with a lump in her throat at the memory.

 

“I’m sorry Baby. I didn’t mean to bring back bad memories.” Rachel says as she kisses along Santana’s collar bone, moving up to her neck, then up to her jaw and ending in her lips. Both girls sigh happily.

 

“Don’t be. I want to tell you. Life became a lot easier until this kid transferred in the sixth grade. His name was Dennis. He became one of my best friends along with Brittany and Quinn. We were inseparable. We told each other everything. Everything was great until the other boys were making fun of him for being besties with three girls, so I beat the shit out of them. I thought I was doing something nice for him, you know? I was defending him and stuff, the same way I always did for Britt and Quinn. Turns out the other boys taunted him even more, saying he had to hide behind a girl for protection and shit like that.

 

“I guess it got to be too much for him because he just pulled away from us, from me. It wasn’t this gradual shit either. No, overnight he decided we were plague carriers or something equally bad. He told the others some of our deepest secrets. He let the other kids know Quinn’s family were alcoholics. He told the others Brittany still slept with a night light on, and her stuffed duck. He told the others how I was crushing on Ms. Mitchell, our teacher. The name calling and taunts started again, only this time it was worse because it included Q and B. We were devastated, so I lashed out the only way I knew how. I beat the shit out of him and forced him to say he made all that shit up because he wanted to be cool. I forced him to say that he was the one crushing on guys, that he was the homo. He was humiliated. The others backed down and switched their bullying back on him. But that wasn’t enough. I was so hurt and angry. Quinn and I came up with ways to make his life a living hell. He was the recipient of the first ever slushie facial. We figured out ways to torture him and not get in trouble. That’s why it was so easy for us to go after St. Jerkwad and his cronies and not get caught. It got so bad for Dennis that his family moved again. That was the birth of an era. I got to taste true power, and along with Quinn we’ve ruled whatever school we’ve attended.” Santana says.

 

“That makes sense, you know. The whole survival of the fittest and such. I get that you need to assert your dominance, especially when challenged. There is one thing I don’t get though. Why me? Aside from the way I dress and how self-centred I am, what caught your attention? I don’t recall ever doing anything to warrant your initial dislike of me. I never openly challenged you.” Rachel asks. She instantly feels Santana stiffen underneath her.

 

“I thought you said you’ve forgiven me. That you’ve moved past that stuff.” Santana says in a broken whisper, tears instantly filling her eyes.

 

Rachel moves so she’s sitting crossed legged on her bed. She reaches and cradles Santana’s face in her hands. She hates that she has caused _**her**_ Santana more pain, but she pushes on. They need to be able to talk about their past. “Look at me Baby.” Rachel says gently, wiping a stray tear that managed to leak out with the pad of her thumb. She smiles lovingly at the girl once their chocolate gazes lock. She reaches down and kisses Santana with everything that is in her. She smiles into the kiss when she feels Santana respond. “I love you Baby. I have forgiven you, but part of me needs to know why.” Rachel answers softly, hoping that the kiss and the sincerity in her words and eyes aren’t missed at all. Her hands are still cradling Santana’s face.

 

Santana looks at the girl that has slowly managed to sneak past all her defences and has planted herself firmly into her very soul. No matter what, she knows this is it. The girl sitting crossed legged beside her and looking at her with so much love is the one. This talk is just one more hurdle they need to get past for their happily ever after. She nods and reaches to grab one of the hands still on her face and pulls the diva back on top of her.

 

“You never deserved any of the shit I pulled on you. I know it sounds fucked up, and yes, I know you hate it when I swear, but those words sum it up. You were so different from everyone. It wasn’t the way you dress that made you stand out. That was just an excuse. It’s always been your attitude. Even as a freshman, you knew exactly what you wanted to do with your life. I’ve known you for a year and a half, and those dreams and goals haven’t changed. You have the talent and drive to make them reality. You’ll be one of the few who will manage to leave this hellhole. You were never, are not now, and will never be a Lima Loser and that’s a tough pill to swallow. You are one of the strongest people I know. No matter what life throws at you, you are still sweet. Yes, I know you can be bitchy when it’s needed or when we’ve pushed you too far, but you’re never cruel or vicious just for the hell of it. You have never conformed to our pressure to change and be one of the bunch. As sick as it sounds, I needed to bring you down to my level because I was jealous of all that. I’m so sorry.” Santana says, a few stray tears falling down.

 

“You’re not a Lima Loser. You have gone through your fair share of crap and you’ve come out stronger. You’re beautiful, intelligent, and sweet under the tough façade you put for the rest to see. We will get out of here together and we’ll take the world by storm. I forgive you. I’m saying that not because I didn’t before, but because you need to hear it again. I have no grudges against you.” Rachel says. They have declared their love for each other, but they have never hinted at what the future might hold. She takes a deep breath and shifts again so she’s lying mostly on her side, draped partially over Santana so they can look at each other without straining her neck. She knows she needs to say this next part.

 

“You’re slightly wrong in your assessment of me. My dreams have changed slightly. I know we haven’t talked about this, and our relationship is still very new. We’re both young and I don’t want to scare you, but you’re it for me. I can’t see myself with anyone but you. I still want to take the entertainment world by storm, but I want to do with you by my side. I want you in the audience when the curtains come up before my first Broadway role, however small it might be. I want you in the audience, front row centre, when I get my first starring role. I want to be able to look directly into your eyes when I give the acceptance speech after winning my first Tony. When we’re ready, I want to raise a family with you. I want to grow old with you. I want you in my life forever. You are my eternity.” Rachel bares her soul, hoping she isn’t moving too fast.

 

Santana feels her heart soar to unimaginable heights. The feeling of forever is mutual. She lets out a big sigh of relief, which unfortunately, Rachel takes the wrong way.

 

“I’m sorry Santana. I know it’s too much to hear so soon into our relationship. I didn’t mean to…” Rachel starts to ramble, hoping to backtrack, but she’s quickly interrupted by Santana flipping them over and captures her lips in a kiss that speaks of a future together.

 

“I love you so much. I’ll follow you to the end of the world and back. I want everything you said and more. You’re it for me as well, _Mi Cielo_. You’re my perfection. You’re stuck with me for the rest of our lives.” Santana says once they pull apart.

 

“Gladly.” Rachel says before she captures Santana’s lips once again.

 

Their hands start to roam and the need to feel more is overwhelming. Soon, they’re exploring under their shirts and they only stop when one of them moans loudly. They look at each other, silently asking permission for more. A slight nod and clothing starts to pile on Rachel’s floor. Both girls are speechless at the sight of newly exposed skin. Santana absently thinks that the glimpse she got of Rachel that one time she accidentally walked in on her, pales in comparison to what she can see. The girl is truly perfect. Her hands tremble slightly as she reaches to touch _**her**_ girl for the very first time.

 

“I wish more than anything that it’s my first time as well. I’m sorry it’s not.” Santana says full of regret.

 

“Shh. In a way, it is your first time. This is the first time you will make love to and with your soul mate.” Rachel replies.

 

Santana nods, unable to speak. Soon, words are no longer necessary and they embark on a brand new journey together.

 

After what feels like an eternity and a blink of an eye at the same time, they are both lying in each other’s arms, basking in the afterglow while they recover from their mutual highs, sharing the occasional kiss.

 

Their little bubble is burst by a phone call from their friends checking in on them. They’re tempted to let their respective voice mails kick in, but Rachel knows that if she doesn’t answer, Quinn will show up to check on them. Reluctantly, she picks up her phone and connects the call. After reassurances that yes, they’re both doing well and a promise of catching up tomorrow, both girls spend the remainder of the evening talking, cuddling, and making love well into the night.

 

*** * ***

The following day feels like another trip to the Twilight Zone for Rachel. When they make it to Santana’s locker, they come face to face with Will. Both girls look at each other. ‘What the fuck?’ looks clearly etched on their faces. Santana has to fight the urge to pull Rachel to her and ravish her because of how adorable the diva looks. They sober up once they make eye contact with Will. They brace for the worst.

 

“Good morning Mr. Schuester.” Rachel says politely, though her voice is frosty at best. These past few weeks have been an eye opener when it comes to their Spanish teacher and Glee director. She wonders what he will say this time in order to put the blame on her for another unproductive practice.

 

“Morning Mr. Schue.” Santana says, clearly angry.

 

“Good morning girls. I was wondering if I could speak with both of you in my office before class starts.” Will says, taken aback by Rachel’s indifference and Santana’s open hostility. Rachel addressing him as ‘Mr. Schuester’ and not ‘Mr. Schue’ feels like a slap in the face.

 

Rachel looks at her watch, she then pulls out her iPhone and makes a point of looking at the time and then at the wall clock on the far end of the hallway.

 

“Not to be disrespectful, but we’re due in homeroom in ten minutes. Could this wait for a more convenient time?” Rachel says in the same frosty politeness.

 

Santana shrugs her shoulders and makes it clear with her body language she will follow Rachel’s lead. She would rather sit through a root canal than having to listen to whatever lame excuse Will has to give Finn another ‘Get Our of Jail Free’ card.

 

“I’ll be brief. You won’t miss first period. This is important, please.” Will says slightly uncomfortable. He has never expected Rachel to be like that. The girl isn’t outright disrespectful, but anyone can see the undercurrent of veiled hostility swimming under the surface.

 

“All right, let us get our things situated and we shall meet you in a few minutes.” Rachel answers in a tone that could freeze water on contact.

 

Santana knows full well what it feels like to be on the receiving end of that. She has to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from smirking in satisfaction when she sees him squirm in discomfort.

 

“I, uh will see you girls in a bit.” Will says before he turns and walks to his office.

 

“Oh my God, _Preciosa_. Do you have any idea how sexy you are when you’re being all badass like that?” Santana growls playfully as she spins the diva around and wraps her arms around her before crashing their lips together.

 

“Right, we, uh, should go see what Mr. Schuester wants.” Rachel says in a slight daze once they pull apart.

 

They quickly sort out their books and head to Will’s office. Rachel knocks lightly on the door and waits for an answer. She might have lost all respect for the man, but that’s not an excuse to behave like an uncivilised brute.

 

“Come in.” Will calls out. “Please sit down.” He adds.

 

“What may we do for you, Mr. Schuester? Rachel asks to the point. She might be okay missing homeroom, but there is not way she’ll miss her first period in favour of whatever drama they are about to be saddled with.

 

Will looks between Rachel and Santana. He nearly groans when he sees Santana shrug her shoulders when they make eye contact.

 

“I want to apologise for my behaviour, especially to you, Rachel. I have no excuse for dismissing your complaints the way I did. It was completely unacceptable and huge error in judgement on my part.” Will says, barely able to maintain eye contact with Rachel.

 

Rachel eyes Will suspiciously. Only the day before during practice he was giving her grief about her unprofessionalism and defending Finn. She wonders what the catch is.

 

“I had no idea he was being so inappropriate with his behaviour and…” Will continues only to be interrupted by a livid Santana.

 

“How can you even sit here and claim you had no idea? I’ve lost count of the number of times Rachel has yelled at him to keep his hands in respectful places. She complained to you about Finn’s wandering hands and lewd comments during each practice up until she gave up the solos…” Santana begins her rant, only to be stopped by Rachel’s hand on her forearm.

 

“It’s okay Santana. If it makes him feel better to claim he had no knowledge, who are we to say anything. At least he’s acknowledging it now.” Rachel says softly to Santana.

 

Will feels like someone has punched him in the groin.

 

“Mr. Schuester, since you miraculously seem to have had some sort of epiphany over what has been going on for the last few weeks, would you be so kind as to explain to me what you plan on doing about it? Is there a point to this meeting?” Rachel asks.

 

“I, umm, the thing is I honestly thought they were accidental touches.” Will admits lamely. He ignores Santana’s ‘every single time? Maybe you should have your eyes examined’ comment. He keeps the fact that he thought Rachel was overreacting to himself. “I have spoken to Finn and his mother…” Will proceeds to tell Rachel and Santana what transpired after they left, omitting Brittany and Quinn’s involvement.

 

“What does that mean Mr. Schuester?” Rachel asks as she looks at her watch.

 

“Right, sorry. He won’t share another lead with you, and that he’s not to go near you unless you are all right with it. If he doesn’t stay away, he’ll be sent to military school. I got the assurance from his mother so you don’t have to worry.” Will says, adding the last part once he sees the skeptical look on both brunettes.

 

“If that is all, may we be excused so we can make it to class in time?” Rachel asks. Santana feels like punching him in the face and knocking a few teeth off.

 

Of all the answers he expected from Rachel, that was the very last one. He can’t deny he had hoped for a ‘thank you’ from the girl. “What about Regionals and…” Will starts to say, but he’s interrupted by Santana.

 

“Our next rehearsal is in two days. We’ll talk and discuss it with the entire group. I’m not giving the others another chance to pick on Rachel and accuse her of being self-absorbed because you decided to exclude them from this talk.” Santana says, clearly not impressed.

 

“You’re right. We’ll talk about that on Thursday. I’ll see you girls in class later.” Will says with a sigh.

 

Rachel smiles gratefully at her girlfriend and gets up without so much as a glance at Will. She reaches for Santana’s hands and they leave his office hand in hand.

 

Will feels like banging his head on his desk until he passes out. He has a long way to go in order regain the trust of his young charges.

 

*** * ***

Quinn and Brittany see a subdued Rachel and Santana wandering the hallway as they make their way to Rachel’s locker.

 

“Hey you two. We missed you during homeroom. Everything ok?” Quinn asks once they’re close enough so they don’t have to shout.

 

“Yeah, Mr. Schue wanted to talk to us. He apologised for being a douche.” Santana says, and proceeds to share with the two blondes what took place earlier that morning.

 

“And you’re not happy with that?” Brittany asks confused.

 

“It’s not that. I don’t trust his sudden change of attitude. Up until yesterday, he was defending Finn. Then all of sudden, he’s apologising and making assurances Finn will leave us alone. I’m waiting to see what the catch is. I was sure he was going to call me irresponsible and blame me for all that is wrong in the universe.” Rachel says softly.

 

Quinn laughs at Rachel’s words, earning her raised eyebrows and questioning looks from the two brunettes. The blondes tell Rachel and Santana what happened after they left. Santana looks at Quinn with a new found respect. It seems that no matter what, even after her fall from grace, Quinn Fabray will always be the Head Bitch In Charge. She says as much to the girl and receives a smack in the arm from her girlfriend and a reminder to watch her language. Santana smirks at her with an expression that says ‘you know I’m right’ as they make their way to class.

 

“Well, that certainly explains his sudden change in attitude. Thanks girls.” Rachel says as she presses her lips lightly on Quinn’s and then Brittany’s cheek.

 

“Yeah, thanks for having our backs.” Santana says.

 

“Always.” Quinn says smiling.

 

The students loitering around stare but are smart enough to keep their opinions to themselves.

 

They joke around as they make their way to Rachel and Quinn’s shared honours economics.

 

“I’ll see you in Spanish for third.” Santana says softly before she leans in for a peck on the lips. “See ya Q. Come on B. We’re gonna be late for computer science.” Santana adds as she links pinkies with Brittany.

 

Finn manages to stay away from Rachel and Santana. He is not happy, but the fear of military school is enough to keep him at bay. He refuses to accept that Rachel isn’t interested. He holds on to the idea that the diva is confused, and that it’s only a matter of time before she realises they belong together. He also hopes that Santana will do something to screw up again, and this time, he’ll be ready to move in.

 

The rest of the school day goes on without any major incidents. There are a few surprise quizzes, but for the most part, the rest of the students stay clear of the Rachel and what they’re now convinced is a foursome. It’s the only way to explain the sudden closeness the four girls share. That rumour, of course spreads like wildfire, but they’re careful not to say anything in front of them.

 

*** * ***

The newfound intimacy between Rachel and Santana doesn’t escape Victoria and Sara. They sit the girls down and have a talk about the implications and expectations that result from taking such a big step. Santana is about to have a stroke. She has had this talk with her mom and grandmother before, but never with her significant other present. They might have skimmed through it when Rachel came to that first dinner as her girlfriend, but they never really got back to it, until now, that is.

 

Santana isn’t sure whether to laugh or cry at their current situation. She is grateful that Rachel seems to be more than all right with the conversation. She wants to hit hear head on the coffee table at how blunt the girl is. The only thing missing in their conversation are flow charts and a step-by-step recounting of their first time. She wonders if she can suffer second degree burns from the heat that seems to constantly infuse her face and upper chest.

 

“I assure you that the timing was perfect. I was never pressured by Santana. I assure that no matter what and far gone she might have been, she would have stopped and jumped in my bathroom for an ice cold shower had I asked her to. She was very gentle and very loving. This wasn’t just sex for either or us. It was a physical reaffirmation of the love we share. I know we’re young, but I know without a doubt that it’s Santana and no one else for me.” Rachel says calmly, looking both women in the eyes.

 

“Santana, do you feel the same?” Sara asks the blushing girl.

 

“Yeah. I do. She’s my everything. The weekend we spent apart because of my stupidity was the worst one ever. I felt like I was drowning because I thought I had lost her. _Mami, Abuelita_ , I have never felt this way for anyone. I’ll do everything and anything I can to make our future together a very long one.” Santana says looking into Rachel’s eyes.

 

“We knew it was only a matter of time before you took the next step. We won’t do something stupid like demand an open door policy or something equally ridiculous. I’m a lot more relaxed knowing you’re in the safety of our home, rather than some seedy motel room or the back seat of your cars. Be careful and keep in mind that human emotions are at stake here. Make sure we don’t hear anything so we can pretend you’re still innocent and waiting until after you get married.” Victoria says, echoing what Michael and Daniel had said once they found out the girls had made love well into the night the day before. It had been an awkward breakfast with the Berrys.

 

Both girls nod. Rachel has a beaming smile while Santana looks dazed. Santana hopes her mom will fill her dad in and they can avoid a repeat talk with him.

 

“How did you know?” Rachel asks, curious. It’s not as if they were announcing it at the top of their lungs or they were walked in on.

 

Santana groans and has to fight the urge to stomp her feet. She had thought the conversation was over.

 

“You girls like to think you are so clever and that you know everything. We have age and experience in our side. No, you don’t glow or look any different. At least not to complete strangers who don’t know you. We could see a slight shift in the way you are together. Your touches linger a bit longer and your eye contact says a lot more. You’re a lot more comfortable with each other’s touch. It’s almost like your souls are having a silent conversation. It’s the same way I look at your father and the same way Michael and Daniel look at each other.” Victoria says with a kind smile.

 

“Welcome to the family, Rachel.” Sara says smiling. “We need to figure out the date for the wedding and I can officially call you my granddaughter.” She adds.

 

Rachel blushes and Santana nearly chokes on her water as she tries not to spray Victoria and Sara.

 

“ _Abuelita_ , you can’t just blurt things out like that. We’re still in high school.” Santana sputters, while Rachel has this dreamy look in her face.

 

“Don’t start acting shy now. Didn’t you just say this is the girl you’re going to spend the rest of your life with? I expect you to make honest women out of each other. I’m not saying you need to get married tomorrow, but eventually. And make sure I’m alive to see it.” Sara says seriously.

 

“It’s ok, Baby. I like how straightforward Sara and Victoria are. It gets everything out in the open and there are no misunderstandings.” Rachel says squeezing Santana’s hand in hers in a show of support. “Don’t worry Sara. I’ll make an honest woman out of Santana sooner rather than later.” She adds turning to look at the woman.

 

“I like her. Feisty and direct. Santana, your grandpa would be so proud of you and he would have loved Rachel.” Sara says to Santana. Then she turns her attention to Rachel. “I expect you to eventually go from Sara to _Abuelita_ or Grandma.” She adds looking at Rachel, making the diva blush.

 

“Thank you. I… don’t have a lot contact with my grandparents because both disapprove of Dad and Daddy. I never knew what it was like to have a big family caring for me.” Rachel says as she gets up and hugs both women.

 

“Welcome to the family, Rachel.” Victoria echoes her mother’s earlier words as she pulls the diva for a hug. She clamps down the urge to seek out Rachel’s biological grandparents and give them a good talking to for being so stupid.

 

“Thank you.” Rachel whispers, returning the hug. She feels like she is the luckiest person in the entire known universe.

 

Santana sends a few words of gratitude to God and any other deity listening. There was no repeat of the conversation about anything remotely intimate during dinner. All conversation is kept in neutral topics like school, and possible song selections for Regionals. If the López-Aragón clan notices the girls stiffening a bit at that, they make no mention of it, and the girls make sure to keep the tone casual. There is no need to have Sara marching in and reducing Will and Finn to babbling morons, however tempted Santana might be. The situation has been handled.

 

“I’m so glad the day is finally over. I can’t believe my mom and grandma would talk about our sex life so openly.” Santana mumbles into Rachel’s hair.

 

“Well, I for one am glad they did. It shows they care and are very realistic and knowledgeable about raising teenagers. It’s quite the responsible thing to do really. It shows they’re not in denial and accept that we are sexual beings. It’s refreshing to be able to talk openly and not having to sneak around.” Rachel says snuggled closely to Santana’s side.

 

“Yes, I get all that, but do you have to be so frank with them? The only thing missing was a Powerpoint presentation.” Santana mumbles, causing Rachel to smack her lightly on her stomach. “I love you and your attention to details _Preciosa_. But you do have to admit that it was weird.” Santana adds with a slight pout.

 

“It’s not like I enjoy going into details about our lovemaking, but it’s the least we could do since they were so calm and collected about it. They could have reacted like most parents and just freaked out on us. Hopefully this subject won’t be brought back up any time soon. We need to make sure to keep quiet when we’re here since your room isn’t soundproofed like mine.” Rachel says gently, burrowing her face in the crook of Santana’s neck trying to stifle a yawn.

 

“Let’s get some sleep _Mi Cielo_. I’m tired too. Who knew you had that much stamina. Though I wouldn’t mind testing it on a night I don’t have early practice.” Santana says playfully, earning herself another gentle smack before Rachel nods her head and kisses her softly.

 

“Sweet dreams Baby. You’re incorrigible, but I love you.” Rachel says as she pulls herself closer to Santana.

 

“I’m a badass. There’s a difference, you know? Night, _Preciosa_.” Santana says happily.

 

Both girls are asleep within minutes.

 

*** * ***

The little bubble the girls find themselves in runs the risk of being burst as the school day draws to an end, and Glee practice looms closer. Normally, Rachel would happily be the first one in, all ready to go, but the past few weeks have been very stressful. All the diva wants is to put the drama behind and concentrate on Regionals, so she forces her unease down and makes sure they are the first ones in the music room. Instantly, Rachel puts her things on their usual spot in the back row before she moves to the piano and starts her warm ups, Santana joining her within a minute.

 

The rest walk in as they’re singing ‘fly me to the moon’. Quinn and Brittany join them and soon, the rest of the team minus Finn joins them as well. Rachel silently prays for Finn to be able to keep his personal issues at bay so they can concentrate on Regionals.

 

“Hello everyone. Good to see everyone here and on time. Let’s get down to business. We need to figure out who is singing the solos for competition and we need to settle on the songs. I figured we should hold out auditions to…” Will says only to be interrupted by Santana.

 

“Mr. Schue, let’s cut the bs here. Rachel is our best singer and our best hope for placing. I say the main vocals for at least one of the songs should go to her and then we split the solos in the group number as planned.” Santana says, causing everyone to jump in.

 

“Of course you’d say that. She’s your girlfriend.” Mercedes snaps.

 

“Santana is right. Rachel is our best shot at placing. We’re not up against some local schools, but against the best in the state of Ohio.” Tina says, surprising everyone.

 

In the end, they agree, with Rachel singing ‘take me or leave me’ with Santana and a Journey medley with the main vocals is split between Rachel, Tina, Artie, and Puck. Practices have been moved to three times a week with no protests from anyone. Rachel couldn’t be happier.

 

*** * ***

Three days before competition, just as they are wrapping up their last dressed rehearsals, Sue walks in the auditorium with a huge shit-eating grin. A few of them fail to suppress a groan of dread as they brace for the worst.

 

“Okay guys, that’s a wrap. Change out of your costumes and we’ll meet here on Friday after last before we head to Cleveland for the competition.” Will tells his students. “Sue, whatever it is, could it wait until we’re back in my office?” He asks once he turns attention to a grinning Sue Sylvester. He hopes that whatever showdown she has planned, it can be put off until the kids are gone. Having another blowout with Sue in front of them would only lose him more respect.

 

“William, you’ll definitely have to watch the use of overhead lights and spot lights, lest them get too hot and ignite the fumes wafting from your hair.” Sue says. “Ah, so glad I caught up with the mouth breathing brigade before you left. I have some great news I want to share with you. I figured you should all join me in the celebration.” She adds. She nearly laughs out loud at the look of discomfort in every one. “The Show Choir Governing Board decided that this year’s Regionals should be judged by celebrities. Guess who got an invitation to grace them with her larger than life presence? That’s right, losers. Yours truly. I’ll be seeing you on Saturday.” Sue says with a devilish grin before she turns and leaves just as fast as she came in, leaving behind thirteen stunned people.

 

“This can’t be happening. Just when everything was falling into place. With so many celebrities to choose from, why her? Having Ms. Sylvester as one of the judges is a major conflict of interest. How could that even happen?” Rachel says, shock evident in her voice.

 

“It’s not like we have a lot of local celebrities to pick from, and I doubt any real ones would bother to come and be judges for only a state-wide competition. Maybe if it was Nationals. We’re so fucked.” Santana adds, shock leading to anger.

 

“Watch your language Santana. I’ll talk to Principal Figgins first thing in the morning and we’ll have everything straightened out. We’ll have an emergency meeting after school. Go home guys. Our efforts won’t be in vain, we’ll persevere.” Will says as positive as he can.

 

*** * ***

Rachel doesn’t remember much of the past twenty-four hours. Once the dismissal bell rings, she drags her feet to her locker to meet Santana, Quinn, and Brittany. She greets Santana with a peck on the lips and the two blondes with a peck on their cheeks. Once all her things are sorted out, they silently head to the choir room to see what kind of hand fate will be dealing them.

 

Surprisingly, they all arrive roughly at the same time. Santana takes her seat in the back row, with Rachel settling on her lap. Quinn and Brittany take the spots on either side of the taller brunette. The anticipation is killing them. The others start speculating about their possible fate the moment they sit down. She wants to scream at them to shut up. Finn’s blind faith on Will grates on her nerves and she wishes more than anything to shove a rolled up pair of Jewfro’s soiled underwear in his mouth. She smirks at the mental image. Santana’s tendency for violence and her legendary non-existent patience must be rubbing off on her.

 

“What are you smiling about? In case you haven’t noticed, we’re facing our imminent doom here.” Kurt snaps at her.

 

“Shut the fuck up Hummel and mind your own business.” Santana snaps, her hold tightening around Rachel’s waist.

 

The others turn a questioning gaze at Rachel when the diva lets out a giggle she fails to stifle. They’re tempted to ask what’s so funny, but think better of it once they get a glimpse of Santana and Quinn’s scowling faces.

 

“Rach? Are you okay? You don’t always have to be happy for us. It’s ok to feel sad. I am.” Brittany says as she reaches over Quinn’s lap to take a hold of one of Rachel’s hands.

 

Rachel clears her throat and motions for the girls to huddle around and whispers what was in her mind just a few moments before. Santana’s laughter cuts through the chatter and the rest turn their shocked gazes at the Latina.

 

“Figures you’d be happy to see us in this predicament, and that your coach will get her wish to shut us down after she thoroughly humiliates us in Regionals. I have to give you props on your great acting skills. I really thought you cared about us.” Mercedes spits out.

 

Rachel is on her feet instantly. “How can you even entertain the idea that Santana and Brittany are still spies for Ms. Sylvester? They have proven their loyalty time and again by sticking with us no matter what. They didn’t have to sit through Mr. Schuester’s bake sale idea in order to get enough money so we could rent a bus with a wheelchair lift for Artie. They sure as hell don’t have to stick around when we’re still considered to be lower than pond scum. Before you continue to make accusations like that, you better have more proof than my girlfriend laughing at a joke I shared with her.” Rachel says in an eerily calm voice, her eyes burning holes through Mercedes’ skull.

 

“They could have stopped the slushies for the rest of us the way she did with you. Isn’t that what teamwork is all about? Instead, she sits back and does nothing.” Mercedes screams.

 

“Loyalty is a two way street. You have done nothing to welcome Santana, Quinn, and Brittany to Glee. You tolerate them because they’re the much needed tenth, eleventh, and twelfth members we need for competition, but you’ve done nothing to extend the hand of friendship. We’re all dealing with the news that Ms. Sylvester is going to be a judge in our own ways…” Rachel says, only to be interrupted by Finn.

 

“She’s not going to. Mr. Schue will fix things for us…” Finn interrupts.

 

“You might think that the sun rises and sets on Mr. Schue’s ass, but there is nothing he can do about the situation.” Quinn says cutting him off.

 

“He’ll get Principal Figgins to stop it. You’ll see.” Finn continues.

 

“Enough!” Rachel says, her voice raising enough to startle everyone. “There’s nothing Principal Figgins can do about the decisions made by the Show Choir Governing Board. Unfortunately, if they don’t deem it a conflict of interest there is nothing anyone can do about it.” Rachel says, her voice more subdued now.

 

“So that’s it? We just give up? Maybe they didn’t know she’s a coach at McKinley. I mean, the state of Ohio must have too many schools to count so maybe they overlooked that fact.” Tina says, joining the conversation.

 

“Right. Because no one knows who the Cheerios are and no one knows what school the team that has won five straight National titles attend. And of course, the Governing Board would have no clue that Sue Sylvester’s Cheerios and New Directions attend the same school. If that’s what you believe, then I have a bridge in New York that would make a great investment.” Quinn says with a roll of her eyes.

 

“No need to be sarcastic about it.” Artie jumps in.

 

Rachel shakes her head surreptitiously, making Santana and Quinn back down momentarily. If there is any hope of placing, they need stay away from an all out argument. “I’m not saying we give up. We started the year with only five members, and against all odds, we’re still here. We survived a leaked set list during our first competition and we won it. Ms. Sylvester isn’t going to be the only judge there. There is going to be a total of five judges. That means there are four out of five votes that will get us to place. We have worked too hard to give up without a fight. We have a solid set list that showcases our abilities. We can do this. We need to show everyone that no matter our differences, we can work as a cohesive unit when we need to. We did it for Sectionals. We can do it for Regionals and any competition we enter.” Rachel says as she makes eye contact with all of them, unaware that Will has been listening in.

 

Will stares dumbfounded at Rachel. The girl might have been the only one who volunteered for the position of captain, but he can see real leadership qualities in that girl. He has truly misjudged the girl. “Rachel is right guys. I have faith in you.” Will says making his presence known.

 

“Well, Mr. Schue?” Finn asks with an expectant look.

 

“Sorry guys. Coach Sylvester convinced the Governing Board she can be impartial and that’s that. It’s not up to me or Principal Figgins.” Will says, trying to keep the pessimism from being too obvious. “Listen to your captain. We have come a long way to give up without a fight. We go on a planned and give them our best.” Will adds.

 

The rest look dubious, but it’s a step up from the defeated looks they have been sporting since Sue’s announcement. They have survived everything that Sue Sylvester has thrown their way, and an attack on their leader to be stronger and better.

 

“Let’s show them we’re the best!” Brittany says and the rest join in with cheers.

 

“You really believe is that simple?” Santana asks once the rest have left.

 

“I don’t. It’s very complicated actually, but they don’t need to know it. Ms. Sylvester knows that odds are against her being able to sway the other judges. She’s attacking our reputation. No matter what happens, we’re screwed. We place and everyone will question or talent because she is one of the judges. We don’t place and we get shut down. At least in theory.” Rachel says.

 

“What do you mean Rach?” Brittany asks, sitting down on the floor by the piano bench.

 

“Ms. Sylvester unwittingly gave us a bit of an advantage because it’s no secret she hates us. She put the spotlight on her credibility the moment she accepted to be a judge. She continues to attack us as is, and she gets accused of taking her frustration on us in order to protect her reputation.” Rachel says with a shrug.

 

“Rachie is right. If Principal Figgins wants to avoid a major scandal he has no choice but make sure we don’t get cut. She votes for us and she’ll be accused of favouritism. She votes against us and she’s accused of being harsh in order to save her reputation. She pushes too hard to get us shot down, then she gets accused of pushing her vendetta against us. Her hands are tied just like ours.” Quinn says, a glimmer of hope in sight.

 

*** * ***

They have another major freak out when they realise that Josh Groban and Olivia Newton-John are also in the judging panel. Somehow, Aural Intensity, one of the thirty teams competing, had managed to find out, and they are doing mash-up of their songs.

 

“This is so fucking lame. We not only have to deal with Coach Sylvester, but with cheaters again.” Puck gripes as they wait their turn in the ‘green room’.

 

“Come on guys, it’s not the end of the world. We’ve dealt with cheating before and we won. It’s not as bad as it seems.” Rachel says as she stands on her tippy toes, trying to turn off the sound coming from the speakers.

 

Santana puts her hands on Rachel’s waist with a smile. She reaches over and turns the sound down.

 

“We started the year barely able to stand each other. I know that we’re not the best of friends and we have our own cliques, but we’ve come so far as a team. We sound great together. Let’s get through our warm ups and win this.” Rachel says.

 

“Rachel is right guys. Do your best. No matter what happens out there, I’m so proud of you. Break a leg guys.” Will says before he gets them started on a series of warm ups.

 

Rachel and Santana are flawless. When they are done, the crowd gives them a standing ovation. The rest feed off of their energy and they nail the group number, receiving another standing ovation. Rachel looks over to where Shelby is standing, giving her a small wave and a big smile while mouthing ‘I’m so proud of you. You were great.’ Rachel waves in return, grinning widely.

 

On the way back to the dressing rooms, Quinn stops suddenly, causing Rachel to bump on her back.

 

“Quinnie, what’s wrong?” Rachel asks immediately.

 

“I think my water just broke.” Quinn says and all hell breaks loose.

 

Rachel pulls out her iPhone seemingly out of nowhere and dials 911. She gives the operator all the relevant information before she hangs up and helps Quinn to the dressing room. All eyes are staring at her confused.

 

“We don’t know Cleveland and it would take our parents too long to locate the nearest hospital. EMTs will get us there faster and they could assist in case the baby decides to come sooner rather than later.” Rachel says as she sends a text to their parents to meet them in the dressing room.

 

“I’ll meet you shortly. You can do this Quinnie. You’re strong.” Rachel whispers before the EMTs rush Quinn to the waiting ambulance with Judy in tow.

 

“Rachel, as co-captain it’s your duty to stay behind for the results…” Mercedes starts to say only to be stop at the glare Rachel gives her.

 

Michael is about to say something but stops when he takes a good look at Rachel. Instead, he steps closer to his daughter, ready to restrain her if needed.

 

“My best friend is going through one of the scariest moments in her life and the only way I won’t be by her side is for you to knock me out and physically restrain me. I guarantee you that if so much as try, you will curse not only the day you were born, but the day you were conceived as well.” Rachel says, radiating anger.

 

“We’re with Rachel. Quinn needs us.” Santana says as she joins Rachel by Michael and Daniel’s side with Brittany in tow.

 

“I should be there as well. I’m the baby’s father.” Puck says.

 

“Quinn doesn’t want you there and there isn’t enough room in the car. Come on everyone. Let’s not waste any more time.” Rachel says before they disappear through the doors without a backwards glance.

 

The trip to the hospital is done in complete silence. Rachel clutching her phone waiting for any updates. She sends Judy a text letting her know they’re making their way to main entrance. A nurse is there to meet them and lets Rachel know that Quinn has been requesting her presence. The rest are shown to the waiting room.

 

The labour is intense and short. Within an hour of arriving at the hospital, Quinn gives birth to a beautiful and healthy baby girl. It’s a bittersweet moment when she gets to hold her daughter for the first and probably last time. Judy leaves the room to get the others with tear-filled eyes.

 

“I’m sorry I don’t get to keep you. If it were at all possible, I would, but I’m not ready. You need someone who is done growing up. I know this, and yet, it’s still the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do. I promise you that when we’re both ready we’ll see each other again. I love you.” Quinn whispers before she leans down and places a kiss on the baby’s forehead just as a nurse comes to get the baby.

 

“Do you have a name for her yet?” The nurse asks kindly.

 

“No. That’ll be something her adoptive mother should do. I’m just grateful I got to hold her and say my goodbye.” Quinn answers as tears roll down her face.

 

Rachel gently wipes her tears and silently pulls her for a hug. The others are openly crying as well.

 

No one says a word. No one is insensitive enough to ask how Quinn is doing.

 

“Do we know the results of the competition?” Quinn asks, breaking the oppressing silence.

 

“Aural Intensity took first place, Vocal Adrenaline took second, and New Directions took third. Although I believe it was a toss up between our guys and you for first place. I think having Sue Sylvester in the judging panel and Aural Intensity sing the mash up were two major points against us.” Shelby says as she steps in the room. “Hi.” She adds once she reaches Rachel and Quinn by the bed.

 

“Well, at least we placed, so Glee is safe for another year.” Santana says, clearly disappointed. They thought they had a shot for first place and they were already dreaming of Nationals. It would be been a great way to cap off the year.

 

“We’re going to grab a coffee or something. Do you want anything?” Rachel says as she starts to disentangle herself from Quinn’s arms.

 

“Please stay Rachie. I need you here.” Quinn asks.

 

That’s all it takes for Rachel to settle herself by Quinn’s side again. The rest slowly flitter out of the room after saying they’ll check in with the others to find out what’s going on.

 

They quickly go through the adoption. When asked if she is sure, all Quinn can do is nod her head. She then puts her signature on the piece of paper that terminates her parental rights and gives them Shelby.

 

“Everything is set so you can take the baby whenever you’re ready. Quinn will stay overnight to make sure there are no complications.” Judy says sadly.

 

“Do you have a name for her?” Quinn asks softly.

 

“Christina Michelle.” Shelby answers just as soft. “Do you want to see her one more time?” Shelby asks gently, unsure if Quinn got to hold the baby at least once. She knows she’ll regret it forever if she didn’t.

 

“No. I don’t think I can hold her a second time because I don’t think I’d be able to let her go.” Quinn admits, tears falling freely from her eyes again.

 

“I understand. We’ll keep in touch and you can see her whenever you’re ready.” Shelby says as she leans in to hug Quinn. She kisses the blonde on the forehead before she turns to Rachel. “I’ll call you soon.” Shelby says as she in turn hugs and kisses Rachel’s forehead.

 

“You’re not going back to the Convention Centre?” Rachel asks slightly confused.

 

“No. They didn’t qualify for Nationals, so I’ve filled my contractual obligations.” Shelby says with an edge to her voice. She still feels guilty she couldn’t quit after the egging incident.

 

“It’s okay Mom. I don’t blame you for what they did. I know you had no choice but to stay as their coach.” Rachel says again.

 

“You’re really something else, you know? I love you Rachel.” Shelby says before she’s out the door.

 

Soon after, Santana and Brittany enter the room, letting them know that Michael and Daniel are in the cafeteria having some coffee.

 

“I’m going to join Michael and Daniel. I’ll be back soon. Do you want anything at all girls?” Judy asks.

 

Rachel and Quinn both shake their head.

 

“Is Puck here?” Quinn asks once they’re alone.

 

“Not yet. They’re all still at the venue waiting for the trophy presentation and stuff. I think he doesn’t have a way to get here. Why?” Santana asks.

 

“Shelby is taking Christina home right away.” Rachel answers.

 

“That’s the baby’s name?” Santana asks. Rachel nods.

 

“Doesn’t the baby have to stay for observations or something like that?” Santana asks.

 

“No. Christina was carried to term, and she’s healthy. I’m only being kept as a precaution. I’ll be discharged in the morning.” Quinn answers.

 

“Puck’ll have a fit because he never got to meet Christina. Can Puck cause any problems since he wants to keep her?” Brittany asks.

 

“No. We were never married, so technically speaking, he has no legal rights over the baby. His name isn’t listed as the biological father. Mom made sure of every eventuality should Puck decide to do anything. Even if he hires the best legal team in Ohio, the adoption is final.” Quinn answers as fresh tears spill from her eyes.

 

The girls silently wrap their arms around her. They don’t bother with words.

 

“You had no right Quinn. That little girl was mine as well. I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye to her.” Pull says interrupting them.

 

“She’s a human being, and not a possession. I’m not sorry she got adopted. I am, however sorry you didn’t get a chance to meet her or say goodbye to her. I’m sure that Shelby will be accommodating as long as you’re respectful and you don’t try anything stupid.” Quinn says sadly.

 

“I had a right to be here for her birth.” Puck says in a much more subdued voice.

 

“I didn’t want you here. I have all the support I need.” Quinn says squeezing Rachel’s hand. “Keeping her was never an option. I want her to have a good life. I want her to be more than a Lima Loser. You and I don’t have the means to be parents right now. We’re still kids…” Quinn adds, only to be interrupted.

 

“You’re wrong. I would have gotten a job. With our parents’ help, we coulda make it work. You didn’t have to give away my daughter.” Puck says, tears filling his eyes.

 

“No Puck. We’re not ready. I want that little girl to have the best. That wasn’t with us.” Quinn replies.

 

“How can you be so heartless?” Puck asks, making Quinn physically recoil.

 

“Noah, if you know what is good for you, you’ll be shutting up right about now, and you’ll think about what comes out of that mouth. I know you’re hurting, but that doesn’t give you the right to attack Quinn. She’s hurting just as bad, if not worse. If you cannot be nice and supportive, I suggest you return to the hotel and you can talk about this when you’ve calmed down.” Rachel says in the same tone that had everyone listening in rapt attention a few days ago.

 

“You have no say in this. Just ‘cause you felt guilty and gave Quinn a place to stay doesn’t give you a right to talk about this like you’re a part of it.” Puck snaps, getting angry.

 

“Watch your tone Puck. You and I might be friends, but no one talks to my girl like that. I’m not kicking your ass from here to China only because you’re hurting.” Santana says with a growl.

 

“Rachel has all the right in the world. She was there when no one else was. I did what was best for all of us.” Quinn says softly, grabbing Rachel’s hands.

 

“You’re only saying this ‘cause you don’t want to give up your life. You’re only thinking about what you’d have to give up and what’s good for Quinn Fabray.” Puck says, regretting the words the moment they leave his mouth. He isn’t surprised by the slap he receives courtesy of one very pissed off Rachel.

 

“Rachie, let it go. He’s hurting.” Quinn whispers and Rachel is back by her side.

 

“I’m sorry Quinn. I shouldn’t have said that. I never even got a chance to see her or hold her.” Puck says, tears filling his eyes.

 

“I know Puck. Rachel can call Shelby and maybe you can get closure.” Quinn says crying again.

 

“Who does she look like?” Puck asks barely above a whisper.

 

“Right now, she looks like Quinn. Her hair is a light blonde, but babies change a lot during their first month, so we won’t know for sure until she’s older.” Rachel says a bit calmer now that Puck isn’t verbally attacking Quinn anymore.

 

“I’m going to go back to the hotel. I’d love it if you could call your mom and see if we can arrange something so I can say goodbye to my… I mean, the baby.” Puck says a lot more subdued.

 

“Of course Noah. Her name is Christina Michelle. She weighed seven pounds and three ounces and she measured eighteen inches. She has a good set of lungs on her so hopefully she’ll be quite the singer, especially with the genetic advantage she has already.” Rachel says gently.

 

“Thanks Rachel. I’m sorry for the things I said.” Puck says looking at the ground.

 

“I understand Noah. You’re going through a lot. Just watch what you say to Quinn.” Rachel says as she stands up and walks over to Puck and places a hand on his forearm.

 

*** * ***

Three weeks later, they’re sitting in the music room, the last official meeting of the year, since they didn’t qualify for Nationals. As expected, Sue had tried to shut them down for not taking first place, but luckily, the wording that Figgings had used was that they only had to place, and Will reminded both Figgins and Sue that a top three finish is placing in a competition. They’re safe for one more year.

 

Rachel wants to start work immediately for next year’s Sectionals. Santana manages to convince the diva that relaxing for the rest of the year and the summer will recharge them and they’ll be more than raring to go in the new school year. Everyone looks on to Santana as if she’s a goddess. Maybe this relationship, strange as it is, isn’t half bad if it means that Rachel will be more relaxed. They’re dismissed after they sing ‘we are champions’.

 

“Baby, are you okay?” Rachel asks a bit worried. Santana has been acting jumpy all day.

 

“Yeah. _Mami_ just texted to confirm that our house will host the family while the World Cup is on.” Santana says with a pout.

 

“Aww. Come here Baby. How about you come over to my place and I’ll make you forget the craziness for a while.” Rachel says, her voice dropping an octave, making Santana shiver in anticipation of what is to come.

 

 

The end… of the beginning…

 


End file.
